I just want to say to anyone that is reading this and is about to have a baby, don't take it to heart. Everyones birth story is different. And I believe just like anything in England only the bad is talked about haha!
Before I go in to details I need to explain a few things first. My pregnancy wasn't an easy one and by four months I was on crutches with a disabling thing called SPD (Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction) I would not wish it on my worst enemy.
Anyway after reading up on lots of sites and researching that along with my psoratic arthritis I felt that the best way for me to go would be a c-section. I was under consultant led care because of all the issues I was facing. They had also found out during my pregnancy that I have a blood disorder called Thrombocytosis, this is basically where the platelets in the blood are too high, they were worried that H wouldn't be getting enough food from the placenta and would be a small baby.
After a few weeks of panicking and being scared we went for a scan where we were told she was already measuring at 6.6lbs and that the sonnagrapher believed that she would be 9lbs if I went to full term. Oh god. a 9lb, and I have to push that out! Plus knowing how these scans can be out and the fact that i was 11.7lbs when born I knew that I wanted a c-section as I felt I would recover more quickly as far as my joints were concerned as I wouldn't be placing the pressure on them that I would during labour and also with the SPD I was worried that they could do something to cause more damage.
Now the first consultant I saw, seemed and I say seemed sympathetic to my cause. She told me she didn't have the power to make that decision as she was only a registrar filling in. That she would put in my notes my wishes and she couldn't see why I wouldn't be given one.
So full of hope off we trot to the next appointment. Where the consultant tells us he will not be giving me a c-section, and he didn't understand why I had asked for a second opinion. WOAH hold the line here! So he shows me my notes where the other consultant I had seen has clearly put in her view that a c-section isn't necessary.
Now he did give good reasons. One I have had adhesion's in the past so it would be most likely I would get them again, which meant if I wanted more children it could make it more complicated and would more than likely lead to further surgery. Two because of my psoriasis I was likely to get it on the scar which would cause an infection, thus leading me to have a set back in recovery term. Three due to my high platelet count I was high risk for blood clots, thus making the surgery a dangerous one. Four people with SPD don't need c-sections as they are aware of all the risks and do everything to prevent the condition being worsened.
He told me I could go and get another opinion and more than likely if I looked long and hard enough I would find someone willing to do a c-section. He then added that he would see me at 38 weeks because of the pain I was suffering from SPD and if it was still really bad he would induce me.
So at 38weeks off I trot all excited my baby could be here very soon, to be told he wasn't going to induce me, because whilst the baby was head down he didn't think she was ready and her health was more important than mine. Being a first time mum, I just felt that the doctors knew best and left disheartened. You see by this point apart from appointments I was bed bound I couldn't move without pain ripping through me. He also said he would book an appointment for my due date, but didn't think he would see me then as he believed I would have H by then.
So back to the car back home and back to bed. I tried all the old tricks in the book to try and help things along, everything apart from castor oil, I think that's VERY dangerous.
My due date was the 23rd March, but there was a full moon before then and I had heard alsorts of stories about how that sped things up! So all excited and then the braxton hicks started. They seemed to be getting more painful and more regular! Ooooo I could feel the excitement and nerves start to build. Then after an hour nothing, nada, zip, zilch. I was gutted. So on my due date went to the hospital very disappointed, where they told me they would do a sweep and if nothing happened over night then I would be going on to the ward to be induced.
The sweep was extremely painful for me. So I went home all excited thinking this could be it, tonight could be THE night. Once again I woke up sorely disappointed and when I found out someone who I knew who had the same due date as me had had her baby on her due date, I felt more than a little bit peeved.
So we get the bags ready the next day hoping against hope I wont be in there long. I hate hospitals and it was roasting. I was given a nice side room and one of the nice nurses managed to root out a fan for me. So when the midwifes used to come in and take ages talking to me, I reckon it was because my room was the coolest haha!
After 3 days and many false contractions. I was about to be given another pessary and was told that I didn't need it, it was time! As soon as there was space on the labour ward, originally they said about 5pm I would go down have my waters broke and get this show on the road!!
5pm came and went so did 6,7,8 and then visiting times were over they told my oh to go home as it would now more likely be 10pm they then came and told me it may not be till the following morning. So after much floor pacing my oh trotted up to bed. To only be phoned by me "Its time!"
I think it was about 11pm so by the time we had got there and I had a drip put in it was 11.30ish when they broke my waters. Because they had given me picoting the contractions started coming thick and fast. Because of the amount of pain I was in an epidural was recommend.
All along I hadn't really wanted one because with my SPD I wouldn't feel if they pulled my legs too far apart. Anyhow at this stage it really was a case of give me the drugs give them NOW! So the epidural went in and I felt relief, brilliant, this labour malarkey is going to be a piece of piddle.. How wrong was I?!
About an hour later I begin to feel tightening again, I am pressing for more epidural but all that's happening is my legs seem to be getting number. So they roll me on to my side to see if its all gone on one side. Its not working and safe to say I'm not a happy bunny. So they roll me back. At this stage oh has gone for something to eat.
They ask me do I want to try diamorphine, yes please! But not alot because last time I only had 5mg and that sent me a bit funny and I felt really sick. So in they come and give me 15mg. The next thing I know I keep being woke up and I have an oxygen mask over my face the midwife is concerned asking me whats wrong. ERM well you have put an oxygen mask on me, so I obviously am not breathing properly. Apparently I kept falling asleep and as soon as I did I would stop breathing.
So the oh comes back from lunch to find me completely out of it, oxygen mask on my face and they are trying to do an ECG, saying they think if I don't come round properly soon they are going to have to rush me for an emergency section. My oh ends up having to tell this midwife how to do it. She was a snotty cow to say the least, shes shouting at me telling me to stop being so silly. Yeah because I really wanted to be like that.
Anyway I'm trying to pull the mask off I desperately need to be sick (silly cow hadn't given me anti sickness) and its lovely really. An orange colour from the lucozade I had been drinking and you can see the haribo that I had eaten!! My oh is in the corner his back turned to me. He really hates the noise of someone being sick- great for a medic huh?!
So they tell me, and to be honest I kind of felt forced, that I should have the old epidural removed and a new one put in, as we are hours away from anything happening as I'm not really that dilated. So after crying and being told that its the best way forward and it really should work the second time round I agree.
It didn't surprise surprise. So I cant have diamorphine it obviously doesn't agree with me, so they pass me the gas and air. AHH BLISS! It feels like I'm pissed. So I'm back to joking about with the midwife, updating my facebook status in between puffing on the gas and air. By this time I have been awake for at least 24hours because I didn't sleep well in hospital and hadn't slept since they told me I was next to go down.
So your thinking I must be knackered but so must the oh right??
Yes that is my husband ASLEEP!! I'm doing the hard work here! But remember I'm also high as a kite on gas and air, so the midwife says to me, aren't you going to wake him? Not much point at the moment. So he managed to sleep through quite a lot of my labour!
In between texting my cousin in law who was getting married that day I was chatting away to the midwife. I must have been talking crap, because when I looked at my facebook I couldn't understand what I'd put. The rest is pretty much a blur. But I will continue with what I do know.
The midwife looks down and as H had a clip on her head because she was moving to much for the one round my stomach to work she can slowly see the wire turning, good thing really as she was facing the wrong way. But she decided to check to see how dilated I was as she thought the movement of the wire must be a good thing.
I was about 5cm thinking yep not long to go now we get excited. How wrong, very very wrong. Anyway when I got to 7cm I had the urge to push and was being told not to push. Now anyone who has had a baby will know how difficult it is to not push when your body's telling you to.
This was when my carefree mood starting going downhill. I had silent tears streaming down my face. To then be told it could be another four hours before I am fully dilated and then possibly a couple more to push her out. I want to go home now. I've had enough she can stay where she is she obviously likes it there. Noticing my deterioration in mood and the fact that it had already been 21 and a half hours they decide to speak to the consultant.
If she isn't fully dilated in 30mins shes going for an emergency section this has gone on for long enough now. I'm crying whilst they try and numb my back, and then tell me to take more dia morphine. I don't want to but once again felt cornered in to it. They didn't give me as much, but all it succeeded in doing was making me feel sick.
They started moving me about and getting me gowned up. I was well and truly ready for a section. When the consultant came round and checked I was ready. So grabbing my gas and air I sat up to be told I wasn't allowed it AT ALL, not even between pushing. So stuff this, this baby is coming out and shes coming out now.
I pushed, I was even naughty and pushed in between contractions and after about half an hour I could feel her head when through gritted teeth I growl, and I mean growl WE ARE NEVER HAVING ANYMORE CHILDREN!!
My husband was really supportive and I wouldnt have got through it without him. The only other time during labour I shouted at him was when he was shouting push, he was actually pushing me. So I screamed stop blooming pushing me your making it harder!!
At this stage I could feel H's head and it wasn't a nice feeling so I continued to push and whoosh out she finally comes. Gas and air is handed back to me. But I can feel that I am losing blood, when the placenta came out it felt like sweet relief!
I had wanted H straight away, but they didn't give her to me, she didn't make a sound. Me and the oh are crying him telling me how happy and how proud he is. And me shouting whats wrong with my baby why isn't she crying. No-one answered. I was thinking the worst and was extremely distressed when 3 mins later she let out a cry. Trust me when I say those 3 mins were the longest of my life!
She was finally here. But they had two nurses push my legs right back during giving birth because of the size of her, thus affecting my spd. I had also tore badly and had lost 1 litre of blood. I was told I was being taken to theatre to be stitched up as they thought I may have to have an operation.
I just wanted to feed H but was told no. I told them I'm not having any stitches till you numb me so they said they would do a spinal block. However, when they took my temperature it was sky high. So they couldn't and they didn't want to do a general unless absolutely necessary.
So I am wheeled in to theatre moved on to the bed with the bright lights above me and by now I am crying ALOT. I am scared. A theatre awake is a pretty daunting place to be when your the one on the table. They have the bright idea of topping up my epidural I keep telling them NO I can feel EVERYTHING apart from my legs. They did the ice test about 7 times, why would I lie?!
So after a while I calm down a bit and had 7 local anesthetics to the area. Not a nice place to be injected in repeatedly, but every now and again I would scream at him to stop as the area wasn't numb. The anesthetist has given me gas and air but is actually holding it over my face. I'm trying to pull it off. The whole idea of gas and air being self administered is so you cant over dose on it and this silly cow is practically suffocating me with the stuff. By this time they had given me a sedative as well. Without my consent.
Anyway about an hour after I went to have my stitches done I came out was wheeled in to recovery where I was crying I was that hot and my temp was soaring still. They gave H to me for me to try and feed her.. but that is another story for another day as I have probably bored you all silly now!!
In total my labour was 23 hours with two threats of an emergency section.I suppose looking back now I didn't have it as bad as some but it still left me traumatised and with SPD. But this was the result.