Tuesday, 18 October 2011

Gallbladder op

The strip lights were flickering above. Whispered conversations were being had all around the room. You could hear the click click of heels walking up and down the corridors, the beeping of machines and snoring.

I was back in hospital and it felt like hell on earth! It three weeks on Wednesday I had gone to the doctors because my gallbladder hadn't stopped hurting for near on 48hours - I was booked in for a routine gallbladder removal the following week, I was happy to wait but not so happy with the pain.

When I got to the doctors they sent me straight to the surgical assesment unit. Good job really my gallbladder was septic and could have burst. So after being taken down for emergency surgery on the Thursday I was trying to sleep things off in between pressing my morphine button.

Because of the drip and morphine machine I was wired to I needed help when I wanted to get to the toilet as I couldn't physically get to the plug or bend in that direction. Well I ended up with the snottiest health care assistant ever!

Every time I got back to my bed she would refuse to reset my morphine machine saying it automatically did it- it didn't. Then as I would go to put my oxygen mask back on I would find ut turned off. Being told that I didn't need it- funny that, a consultant is highly more qualified and he's said I'm too stay on it because of my blood pressure or some other reason.

When I would ask her for pain relief I wouldn't get it would have to keep buzzing until I got someone else as he would conveniently forget!

Then to top it off the next morning she's doing the rounds asks me my pain level- now since I'd been on this ward it was between one and three , three being the highest. I put mine between 2.5 and 3 to be told I wasn't in pain. HELLO it's MY body!

Now don't get me wrong there are some fantastic people out there doing the job, but some people shouldn't. It doesn't help recovery and being in hospitals depressing enough! And I'm sorry but wether or not they are having a bad day or not is not a good enough excuse to take it out on the patients. To be honest it's now left me petrified when I have to go in hospital.

Then to top my day of at 3am one of the girls on the ward has decided its a perfect time to play her music. Queue one unimpressed me shouting for her to turn it off. Wouldn't have minded if that had happened instead a few of us had to complain. Now this grates me because as soon as H started getting too noisy D would take her for a walk- this was during visiting hours and she is a baby. Then I had a snorer next to me, a lady who obviously wasn't very well mentally screaming help me every five minutes (she thought she was falling bless her) and one of the worst sounds in the world retching all of them. I was itching to get out!

When I went to change out of my gown I realised that blood had seeped through so lifting it up expecting to see dressings all I saw was an open wound- trust me I nearly retched! They had glued my wounds. Really clever not!

Three weeks on and I'm in worse pain than before I had the bloody thing out. My belly button wound has been open for a while now and I'm on my second dose of anti biotics.. With no sign of it disappearing.

Now you would think that would be my bad luck over oh no. Why would we allow that!! My leg fits as I'm walking with my frame, I go down straight on to my ankle. Now I've broken my ankle before and walked on it and this was more painful. Due to the fact I was upstairs had to call out the ambulance men. So after being stabbed with a needle and having it wriggled about five times (nice bruises!) they find a vain hip hip hooray! Time for the morphine not that it touches it. Then begins the fun, them carrying me down the stairs- not an experience I wish to repeat.

So when I first get there I'm put on a special bed to elevate my ankle because of how badly swollen my ankle was. I was given no pain reliefs and after a few puffs the gas and air runs out and the doctor refuses to replace it because apparently it doesn't help... Now tell me why would I be asking for it if it wasn't helping?!

So off for X-ray the doctor comes back pushes my foot up and tells me that it's not broken- I'm screaming at this point do he decides that he's going to say that I'm feeling pain when I shouldn't be as he didn't touch me. And seems as it wasn't swollen clearly theres nothing wrong its at this point i refuse to let him touch me due to the pain. So another Dr comes over screaming the whole time as he twists my ankle he tells me it's strained and that from a medical point of view there is nothing wrong.

Then he sees how I'm holding my foot and asks if I have cramp. No its the most comfortable position oh in that case you've probably strained your tendons. Contradictory! I have one telling me to rest for a few weeks another telling me to use it. So at the moment I'm doing a bit of both.

Sadly I have taken a step back. I'm back in the wheelchair as it would seem something happened to my back during the fall. Then again it's not that long ago I had that operated on!!

They have started me on a new med which means coming off the others cold turkey. I am so tired but the itching and fidgeting is stopping what little sleep i was managing. Now the pain management consultant thinks I may have fibromyalgia but now it appears that I have two infections and a joint flare up I'm praying that's not the case.

Waiting on a scan as they think I may have a collection of stones or bile, which possibly means more surgery. It's draining. I'm feel back at rock bottom and then to top this week of the hubby ends up having to have a tooth out and is really poorly with it so end up down a and e with him at 4am.

What is it with this family?! I think it's time our luck changed. Got to say that I'm hoping never to have to have surgery in Plymouth again. Each experience has left its mental and at present non healing physical scars on me.

So what with all that had happened at the weekend I decided me and D needed a break. So after a quick surf on the net I decided we should head to Roscoff, France. You see if we got the overnight ferry there and one back wouldn't need to spend on a hotel. Because of my wheelchair we needed a disabled cabin. I have to say I'm extremely impressed they made sure they parked you next to the lift and held it for you. The rooms were huge with a push of a button the door opened for you and there was even a seat in the shower!

The crossing there was great and it felt like we were there longer than a dy. apart from the odd hitch with the wheelchair it was a fantastic weekend and we has a real laugh and let our hair down. You have to make the most of being kid free!! Although it's almost to quiet without her and I am rather missing her although she's having a whale of a time!

My only comment would be is by closing the shops and restaurant so early they are losing out on some serious money as you only really have the chance to do one or the other unless you rush!!

Well I was going to write about my feelings towards Halloween and Carol singing in this post, but I've rambled on enough already and I don't think I have the energy to type anymore!!

Tuesday, 11 October 2011

Shopping with a mobility scooter

So I know I'm not the only disabled shopper in the world. As a first experience it wasn't the best,although it was slightly humourous, now i look back on it that is! I think I will be sticking to online shopping.As I don'tthink I will be braving a scoote for some time to come .

Firstly and this probably sounds rather vain, but I hated being in one and the looks that I got! I wanted to shout if you want to know just ask. Then its almost like a pity party of everyone jumping out your way avoiding eye contact or diving in to reach that product that's just a little to high up the shelves for you. Now that may sound extremely ungrateful, and I don't mean to come across that way but.. I was with my husband. Its for me difficult enough being in this position and I will ask him for help if I need it. I have or was always very independent until I met my husband, I still felt like I had some of that left so with people doing that it just felt they were taking strips of independence away. I suppose a little dignity, whats left of it after you have had a baby anyway!

Then as I was upstairs and the hubby had wondered off the blasted scooter wouldn't move. I'd like to point out that at this point the little light was still green indicating it still had battery left. Well it let me reverse but just refused to go forward. I could see people looking at me and felt the colour rising in my face. I felt like asking one woman if her mother had never taught her that it was rude to stare!

So after a few heart stopping minutes the thing starts up again, I go and join my husband and tell him in no way is he to leave me behind. Now I don't drive, so when I crashed in to a display full of clothes my husband said that it was probably a good thing. Luckily the display was sturdy and nothing broke. I however by now am scowling. I look to the little light, we'd probably been in the store for all of 15mins and its on red. So thinking that it turns to red with plenty of time to get you back to the front of I go.

Just as we reached the home stretch it started to give out on me. So the hubby pushed it from behind with the trolley and I made it to the customer service desk- just. I asked for another one. I couldn't use a normal chair as H was in the big trolley that D was pushing and we needed the big trolley. I like shopping and didn't want to have to sit on a bench red faced whilst the hubby finished up. So they give me another scooter...

I didn't get very far before it broke down in the middle of the store. At that point I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. There were no more scooters and it wasn't the shortest walk to the front of the store. No way was I dragging that thing and because it had completely lost power D couldn't even push it far from behind. So it had to be abandoned, bit like the rest of the shopping really.

There were no more scooters and really at this point, even though my husband was highly amused I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry as quite a few people had seen this happen and looking back yes I can laugh. But is it too much to ask that they charge the scooters when they put them back? I wasn't going to take the risk of a third scooter and there was no way I could walk round the rest of the way so it was a case of 'lets go home and D can finish it tomorrow'. Which got my goat a little bit really. I may have had a few disasters with online shopping but at least that's behind a screen!! So until I build up the confidence again I am only left with the choice of online shopping which after having my gallbladder out next week will probably be all I feel up to!

Sunday, 2 October 2011

Back in Plymouth

I am back in Plymouth now. Hopefully to stay. Just waiting to hear when my gallbladder op will be and if D will be allowed the time off work if not I will have to go back and stay with my mum.

That's not such a big deal as luckily now that I am older me and mum get on a lot better and tend to try and talk things out rather than having argument. The other good thing is it means I get to catch up with all my friends because at the moment Plymouth is quite lonely as I don't know many people and unless there are mum and baby groups in the evening when D can take me, I don't really have a hope in hell of getting there.

I have finally changed the medication patches I was on, so at least I am not being driven up the wall with the urge to scratch! However, I am not entirely sure the dose is high enough as I can feel all my joints and gallbladder pain more than what I normally do. I am also getting the sleepy side affects. It would be so easy to just go back to Swindon for another week or until my medication is sorted out, but I don't see the point. I need to try powering through this as I am always going to have bad days with my joints and with my back.

I intend to ignore the housework, well try my hardest anyway. I am just going to concentrate on H and me and when she naps so will I. I feel like a new mum except my baby is 6months old and a hell of a lot more active than a new born. She is also stubborn as hell when she wants something... can't think where she gets that from lol! However, it does feel amazing that after all this time I can finally feed her without crying with the pain. I think and have probably said this before that the back surgery was the best thing I could have ever done!

She is sitting up unaided for longer periods of time and is getting frustrated that she can't crawl, not that it stops her from getting to where she wants to go, which is normally somewhere shes not supposed to be. She was shaking her juice all over her yesterday and had a roaring hissy fit when I took it off her and looked to her dad.

I am guessing she is going to be a daddy's girl! Would love to know what goes through their minds. She wasn't too well last night but seems fine this morning. Even if she did get up at 1am to have a little chat to herself and blow some bubbles, don't get me wrong she doesn't cry out to get up she sends herself back off to sleep. But I would love to know why she does it!!

Hub has joined me up with net mums so that I can meet other mums in the area. It really all depends on if they feel comfortable going to a strangers house for a drink though as there is no way I am near enough ready to get out and about. Which reminds me I need to do a food shop in a bit. Oh the joys. Considering trying asda to see if they are cheaper.

Anyway I think I have rambled on about nothing for the past ten minutes so if you managed to get this far well done! I guess the reason I am staying in Plymouth is that I need to try. I need to try and build up a good network of friends here like what I have in Swindon as I don't know that I can handle being a weekend wife. It also depends as to why my leg and arm have fits though, as I may be left with no choice but to move back. Its now just a waiting game and boy do I hate waiting!