tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-78918360756764255022024-03-08T17:59:18.144+00:00The big testThe ramblings of a new mother trying to cope and come to terms with various disabilitiesEmmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03243025854819361021noreply@blogger.comBlogger82125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7891836075676425502.post-24855786912353054892013-02-12T20:54:00.001+00:002013-02-12T20:54:08.107+00:00Frustrated.So I was supposed to have my next infusion on the 14th. However, I ended up with a chest infection and the infusion had to be put back a week. I went back to the doctor today because I'm still coughing up mucus. I'm still feeling ill and throwing up. But the dr won't give anything because bloods that were done two weeks ago were fine. And my temptature was fine. Never mind the fact that my it's extremely rare or my temp to go up. He wouldn't give me anything for my earache saying that its possibly a viral infection. Note possibly.<br />
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So as frustrating as that was I was happy to go along with it as it means getting my infusion a week Thursday.<br />
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Just got a phone call from the rheumy nurse to say that's not going to happen as there's no one there to do it. So it's being put back another week. Which leaves me feeling frustrated and upset wondering what the point is if I can never have it when I'm supposed to? <br />
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I don't have any fight left in me. I don't want to be on painkillers stuck in bed unable to move because of the pain. But why fight it because clearly no one else is prepared to fight it on my behalf. The whole idea of a doctors appointment when ill is so they check my blood because of how dangerous some of the side effects are. So if they aren't going to do their job properly. So that leaves me with the decision of do I bother with the treatment any more? Because if I can't trust my doctor to be on the look out then I can't do this. Emmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03243025854819361021noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7891836075676425502.post-14354572727131092302013-02-06T01:12:00.001+00:002013-02-06T01:12:54.208+00:00Clever clogsWell my daughter is certainly wise beyond her years. Her speech is fantastic and she is just the most lively clever well behaved little girl I've ever met. I may be slightly biased!!<br />
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Today I'm flicking through some old photos of her and in between her shouting cheese and beautiful- to the pictures of herself haha. She says I remember and starts pointing to a photo.. I wonder if she does remember. Or if she even knew what I remember meant.<br />
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Then she starts trying to take her picture on the iPad. Then I tell her the iPad will be going sleep in a minute. It's an easier way to get things of her ha. So she goes quiet and when I turn back round she proudly says to me 'I did it' 'I fix'. So I ask her what she's done and follow to where she's pointing. She's only gone and plugged it in so it won't go sleep!! <br />
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Now her trick is to climb in to our bed on her dads side tell him bye bye. As she is going na nights. Give me a kiss pull the quilt up and snuggle in to me. Gosh I love my little girl so much. We have been truly blessed with her! <br/><br/><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-DnEy74VVDHA/URGuExw5ixI/AAAAAAAAARs/tHU9NUnhq2Q/s640/blogger-image--20115775.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-DnEy74VVDHA/URGuExw5ixI/AAAAAAAAARs/tHU9NUnhq2Q/s640/blogger-image--20115775.jpg" /></a></div>Emmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03243025854819361021noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7891836075676425502.post-58989506167792014672013-02-06T01:05:00.001+00:002013-02-06T01:05:57.383+00:00QuietSo the reason I'm quiet at the moment.. I'm still feeling rough as hell and a little stressed!<br />
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I've been refered to the breast clinic and I'm still waiting on an appointment. I think ill feel better when that's over and done with! <br />
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They decided to bring forward my upper go appointment. And quickly to so I'm a bit surprised and wondering why. Don't get me wrong I'm not complaining... With all the puking going on I'd like to get to the bottom of it. (Wouldn't mind so much if I was losing weight but my tummys constantly swollen haha)<br />
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I think they want me to have another endoscopy and colonoscopy. However, it's been just under a year since I last had one so not really prepared to go through all that again. Because when it shows nothing they stop looking!!<br />
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Then luckily our mac told us there was something wrong with a USB cable good job. It was burnt to a crisp. Luckily nothing bar the iPhone USB was damaged. So so lucky that the house didn't burn down!! <br />
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Then to top it off, the flat we were going too be moving to in swindon has fallen through. No ones fault but still gutting as there is a huge possibility we will have to get rid of the kitty's. That would just break my heart... <br/><br/><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-JuPVrShbtvw/URGsch-sSMI/AAAAAAAAARk/52o4R4BKzjs/s640/blogger-image-429735647.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-JuPVrShbtvw/URGsch-sSMI/AAAAAAAAARk/52o4R4BKzjs/s640/blogger-image-429735647.jpg" /></a></div>Emmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03243025854819361021noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7891836075676425502.post-26060769782965707142013-02-03T23:55:00.001+00:002013-02-03T23:55:33.922+00:00Yodel- the worst delivery companySo just before Christmas we realised that going out to do the Christmas shopping wasn't going to happen! <br />
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So the best alternative was going to be online shopping. Some of which me and the husband did through Littlewoods. <br />
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We have used them before and never had a problem. If we aren't in they drop a note through the door or put it through the door next to the front door- it's almost like a mini shed attached to the house.<br />
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Anyways I was having a bad day and my husband had to nip out to the chemist to get me a prescription. <br />
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I heard the doorbell go, but obviously I didn't answer it because I couldn't get to it. <br />
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The next thing I know I've heard the door fling open and someone's in my house. I heard them walk in to the living room (we have a noisy stair gate). I was petrified. How would I fend off a burglar? I daren't ring the police incase they heard me and that brought them up the stairs. Then I heard them at the bottom of the stairs...<br />
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I couldn't breath. I was shaking. I've never had a panic attack before but I'm guessing that's exactly what I had! My husband got home to find me in a complete state. He also found a delivery in the kitchen. The outrage. The delivery driver had not just opened the door and put a parcel inside- oh no he had let himself in my house! <br />
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Furious my husband rang up yodel demanding to speak to a manager. The response he got was that managers don't do phone calls. When my husband went on to explain the situation and tell them that a manger would call us back his attitude was that the delivery driver had done us a favour! Yes because I call someone trespassing in to my house and giving me a panic attack, going through my things and walking about the house a favour NOT! Anyway it's been a month and yodel have still not contacted us!!<br />
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So I got on to Littlewoods. The next day another delivery came. The driver had obviously been told of our complaint as he laughed and joked to the husband about it! Disgusting! His excuse that the builders had opened the door and told him to go in. <br />
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Funny considering the builders had finished before lunchtime that day and the delivery showed up a few hours after!! Then when Littlewoods phoned they said that the driver had said that the builders took it off him and came in- two completly different stories. Not one apology from the driver and a poxy £20 gift voucher for the distress. Thanks a lot YODEL. Won't be using them again!!Emmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03243025854819361021noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7891836075676425502.post-6746327041236139332013-02-03T23:41:00.001+00:002013-02-03T23:41:27.100+00:00Feeling roughSo after feeling rough and waking up with raging ear ache th past few days I let the oh get me a dr apt. (I'm supposed to go if I get so much as a sore throat) <br />
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Sadly for me I have an ear infection as well as a chest infection on top of a cold. So my body feels like led. And as much as I'd love to get out for some fresh air I can't even get to the bathroom! So an open window is having to do for now. <br />
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So today I thought I'd watch all my Grey's anatomy discs again.. Only to get to season one disc two and its missing. It really irritates me that my husband can't put the bloody discs back in the box! I mean its not hard. The disc case is always by the player so you just take it out and voila it's away. But no. Lets just waste money an ruin discs because doing that's such hard work *rolls eyes*. So I'm counting to ten before I have a row.....Emmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03243025854819361021noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7891836075676425502.post-3305522789558539182013-02-01T21:13:00.001+00:002013-02-01T21:13:24.741+00:00First InfusionWell my first infusion went well..<br />
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I was worried it would be canceled as I had a slight cough. However all night before it seemed to have disappeared. Then when I needed to cough I held it in haha!<br />
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It would seem unlike with humira I didn't get any side effects (yet, touch wood). With humira within half an hour if e in agony with my stomach and being sick!<br />
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Today I do feel rubbish. I'm exhausted. The cough is back with a vengeance. But the worst is not being able to move as my whole body feels like lead... I think it's more to do with the cough/cold. Lets hope so anyway! <br />
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So the next one is on valentines day. Lets hope it doesn't take six months to kick in as they say but sooner! Emmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03243025854819361021noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7891836075676425502.post-71105248678642700912013-02-01T21:09:00.001+00:002013-02-01T21:09:27.506+00:00Facebook.I tell you as much as I love Facebook I hate it to. Actually being more precise I hate the way it's used.<br />
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These days it would seem that people have forgotten how to have a conversation. Or how to be honest with one another.<br />
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My policy has always been that I would never say behind someone's back what I wouldn't say to there face.<br />
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Then there's the statuses that are put up purely to start a row and when that happens the sudden back down!!<br />
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Today I've logged on again to see yet more cryptic statuses you know the ones of 'I'm thinking of you, you know who you are' and then said person refuses to actually say whats going off. It's obvious these are done purely for attention. <br />
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Then there's the people who you contact to see how they are and they ignore it but god forbid your not running around after them when they pop up they have a cold... I will admit I'm guilty as sin for putting up a status when I feel crappy.. However I don't post all my stuff on there. Plus I don't ignore people and I certainly don't expect people to run around after me. <br />
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Some things in life private which leads to my biggest bug bear...<br />
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Someone putting up something slating someone. When you point out that I dunno they are doing the same thing all you get in reply is its none of your business. This cracks me up. If it was so private why post it on there in the first place?! Emmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03243025854819361021noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7891836075676425502.post-22102153613633222862013-01-30T10:40:00.001+00:002013-01-30T10:40:48.320+00:00RemicadeSo I'm supposed to be starting Remicade infusions tomorrow.. Bit concerned as I have a blocked nose and cough. I'm worried they won't let me take it and the thing is I can't remember the last time I didn't have a cough or cold...<br />
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I've had my flu and pneumonia jabs so hopefully I'm not going to make myself poorly by going for it anyway!! Emmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03243025854819361021noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7891836075676425502.post-56762565809787566862013-01-30T06:55:00.001+00:002013-01-30T06:55:44.123+00:00MilkshakesBit of a random post...<br />
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So because I am on morphine I have no appetite and throw up a lot. So before I take my tablets I like to line my stomach and well if I can't eat I find a milkshake the nicest and tastiest way to do this..<br />
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So when doing an Asda shop (yes on a scooter. And yes I crashed as usual. Twice ha) I spotted a new Friji shake flavour. Caramel Late. It was on offer Even better!<br />
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So I take my milkshake home and before tablet time drink it. Tasted alright. Get towards the bottom. OH NO... True to type I've treated myself and its about to go wrong...<br />
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There's lumps. It's off. It's 9 days out of date. Now bear in mind I've hardly an immune system an have to eat the diet of a pregnant lady...<br />
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Cue four days of 'which end should go on the toilet first' and crippling tummy pains.<br />
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So true to my style I kept the bottle and receipt.. And as soon as I could leave the bathroom trotted off to asda to complain. Didn't expect anything other than a redund...<br />
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They gave me the full price of the milkshake and not the cheap price I payed plus a £20 voucher! Impressed. <br />
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So considering what happens when I treat myself I played it safe getting some outfits for H and a new set of pjs for me... I'm hoping I can't go wrong with PJs... Although there is a story involving Pjs me littlewoods and a bad delivery company... Ill save that for another day! <br/><br/><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-zoMX2PSHCv4/UQjD7Tl_AQI/AAAAAAAAARU/YSujXEMvcDI/s640/blogger-image-2070827688.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-zoMX2PSHCv4/UQjD7Tl_AQI/AAAAAAAAARU/YSujXEMvcDI/s640/blogger-image-2070827688.jpg" /></a></div>Emmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03243025854819361021noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7891836075676425502.post-78473549654283240012013-01-30T05:27:00.001+00:002013-01-30T05:27:01.655+00:00Health and Hard DecisionsWell as regular readers will know I have psoriasis and psoratic arthritis.<br />
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After moving to Scotland I broke my wrist and things with my arthritis seemed to go downhill from there.<br />
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For nearly two years in Plymouth I had been fighting to get treatment but due to funding it was a war between which department would pay which meant it never happened!<br />
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Well when things got really bad hubs had to take a lot of compassionate leave and didn't end up going to sea. We got a lot of crap for that. Not his fault.<br />
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I ended up in hospital for nearly a month and was on Iv morphine regularly until a treatment plan was ready they didn't want me to leave. <br />
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They agreed for me to start Humira. Sounded great- could be the miracle drug we were looking for. Sadly it turned out to be the opposite. I ended up with drug induced MS and other symptoms. I had to come off it, I'm still suffering from every cold and bug going its the joys of immune suppressing drugs. Thankfully the MS symptoms have reversed themselves!<br />
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Having had that and then come off it meant I was just as bad as when I got admitted if not worse. So painkillers were increased until I could start the next one. <br />
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Sadly though it can take 6 months to work and even then I could still need a lot of help around the house as I do now. Most days hubs has to lift me up out of the bed for me to get to the toilet and stairs are impossible. <br />
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I've had to shave off all my hair because the psoriasis was that bad and thats quickest way to heal it. Plus it had nearly all fallen out anyway so it was quicker to just shave it rather than wake up to clumps every morning.<br />
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With all of this going off. We realised that hubs needs to be at home to help me aswell as to help look after the little one. Plus the painkillers im on are so strong i often fall asleep.So he's handed his notice in to become my carer and we are waiting to find out if he can get a compassionate discharge so we can move back to friends and family. <br />
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I start my infusions on Thursday and I have everything crossed that things improve! <br/><br/><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-l7T9OE1gdcQ/UQivIn6AcTI/AAAAAAAAARE/Ok-nrxpn_1M/s640/blogger-image--7488655.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-l7T9OE1gdcQ/UQivIn6AcTI/AAAAAAAAARE/Ok-nrxpn_1M/s640/blogger-image--7488655.jpg" /></a></div>Emmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03243025854819361021noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7891836075676425502.post-88842566484198404402013-01-30T05:13:00.001+00:002013-01-30T05:14:23.614+00:00Hotel DisaterWell with one thing an another going off right now me and Hubs decided a night away was in order.. (Will post an update at a later stage)<br />
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So after much deliberation we decided to go and stay in the Novotel in Edinburgh. We picked there as we had stayed on the move down to Helensburgh and really enjoyed our time there.<br />
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In true fashion though nothing went to plan!<br />
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It all started well. The journey was quick with no hitches. Even managed to buy a self propelled wheelchair on the way there so we knew that I could explore Edinburgh freely.<br />
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We got there and the staff that booked us in were amazing and even gave H a little toy. It's the little things for me that make good customer service. <br />
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We checked in to the suite and all seemed fine. Got our swimming gear on and took H for a swim. She loved it! Such a water baby an even though she's not quite two she's so confident.<br />
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Finished in the pool after dragging H out after two hours. Then it was time for bed so we settled H down. Popped a movie on and ordered some room service.<br />
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After the food arrived H woke up so we settled her down again. I'd been feeling a draft for a bit so just turned up the room temptature and thought nothing more of it. <br />
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So tried to start eating the meal again. Hubs had just opened a drink and had laid down on the bed next to me. The next thing we know BANG! The window flys open knocking a drink all over my fairly new boots and scaring the life out of us and waking H.<br />
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After five minutes we realised the window was not going to shut. So called reception and a very helpful member of staff came and moved us to another suite. <br />
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So we decided to let H blow off some steam for five minutes before outing her back down an getting some shut eye. Next thing I know she's picked something up and is studying it intently. Thankfully I got to her before she could study it to closely. It was a bare wire.<br />
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Now up until this point I had remained calm. They'd moved us room so I didn't think I'd have any problems getting someone to come and look at the wire and confirm wether or not it was live and put some insulating tape round it. <br />
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The reception member of staff who answered the phone was rude and unhelpful. Refused point blank to come to the room. Told me he was the only member of staff on and that if I wanted compensation (I didn't at this stage) I would have to wait to speak to a manger. <br />
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There were no more suites and at this point id taken morphine painkillers. A normal room would not have fit my wheelchair and the travel cot in so whats the point in moving room?! I asked if we could have a refund on the room so that we could change hotels. This apparently was not possible and there was no manager available or even a supervisor. Fine so get the manager to call me tomorrow and come to the room to discuss our complaints. The response no we don't want to wake you. Well tell us a time?! No. You have to come down. Fine.<br />
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Fuming at this point knowing I won't sleep a wink and will probably be in too much pain after moving room to enjoy our day out the next day. I also knew I'd be paronoid about the wire as in my eyes it's a fire hazard. <br />
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Next day. Husband went downstairs for the receptionist on duty that day to come up and apologise and tell him the manager has offered us free breakfast. At this I'm a little annoyed why has the manager himself not apologised? He knew I wanted to speak to him as I told the receptionist I did. <br />
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So downstairs I go. Hubby leaves me in the wheelchair next to a chair so I can sit and talk to the manager. He comes and stands behind me so my husband has to come and move the chair. He stood there with his arms crossed the whole time. Didn't apologise once, didn't let me finish one sentence and told me basically what was the problem he was offering a free breakfast. <br />
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I told him I wanted a refund he told me he wasn't going to do that as they'd miss me once. He then also tried saying they'd given us a free upgrade to a suite until I pointed out we had already paid for a suite. So how is that free? Plus moving is to another room happened because of a fault down to them. So he offers me £50 which wasn't quite half price of the room tells me that's as high as he can go. I ask to speak to someone higher. His reply he doesn't know if the general manager is in and if he is which hotel he's at. Erm well ring him? (Seriously what happened to common sense and good customer service?!) he tells me there is no point as the gm doesn't answer his calls. Well try him anyway or ring head office I don't care I'm not leaving till something is done. His smart reply? Well you stayed the night. As I pointed out I couldn't speak to a manager couldn't get a refund so how could I leave at gone 11pm. What did he expect me to do? Get my family to sleep in the car park? Apparently yes that would have been better! <br />
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Long story short he went off told me gm wouldn't answer phone and there was nothing more to be done and that basically he didn't believe there was a bare wire. I showed him the photo on my phone and offered to wait/go with him to the room to view the wire. He declined. I told him I wasn't happy and wanted head offices number and would ring them from the hotel as I wouldn't leave until it was resolved. He told me he wasn't sure of the number and would I quote 'see what I can do'. Erm no you WILL get the number! <br />
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Anyway after much deliberation we left with the promise of a call from the GM or Revenue manager. The GM was on training and it was the latter that called. I was impressed with how quickly and efficiently it was dealt with- as it should have been in the first place! She apologised- unlike the duty manager. Has authorised a FULL refund- that would have been enough but she has gone the extra mile and is giving us one free nights stay in their suite with breakfast free if charge so we can see how it should be with no problems. That to me is good customer service because I will admit I wasn't going to return to that hotel or wen that chain of hotels but we will see how the next stay goes!!<br />
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<br/><br/><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-gkzWvy4tNko/UQir5vxK2uI/AAAAAAAAAQ0/Ojtv69eugBE/s640/blogger-image--1151718347.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-gkzWvy4tNko/UQir5vxK2uI/AAAAAAAAAQ0/Ojtv69eugBE/s640/blogger-image--1151718347.jpg" /></a></div>Emmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03243025854819361021noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7891836075676425502.post-39029890654776346832012-06-26T13:20:00.002+01:002012-06-26T13:20:47.736+01:00Crazy TimesWow.<br />
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Its been a long time since I last posted. I think lifes funny like that, life is what happens whilst your busy making other plans. H is now one and we have a puppy. Must be crazy! Oh my gosh time seems to have gone to fast. I have finally had the diagnosis of arthritis in the spine. <br />
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Its a relife as it means at least I know whats happening and that its not just in my head. But its also fustrating. I am on alot of pain killers and if we go out for the day I have to make sure I can hire a wheelchair or mobility scooter as walking any sort of distance is becoming too much.<br />
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I don't know if that will ever change but I know that its time to just get on with it. I can't let it hold me back. We may be moving to Scotland soon with oh's job. Thats no bad thing though. His boss here is uncaring and unsymapathetic. A few weeks ago I woke up in the morning unable to move my left leg. It just felt heavy, very scary at the time.<br />
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Anyway I was advised by nhs direct to get an ambulance out pronto because it could be something called candine equaine (not sure if i have spelt that properly) If it was that it would have meant emergency surgery. I had Holly in bed with me. I couldn't get down the stairs so I couldn't get her any breakfast. <br />
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I called the hubby up at work and told him that if he didnt come home that the ambulance service would have to get social services to look after her which I wasn't happy about. After all he wasn't at sea, he was five minutes down the road. So the Husband tells his boss that hes leaving anyway. His boss throws back at him good luck, you'll be arrested before you hit the gates, for being awol from your place of duty.<br />
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Well the husband called the ambulance. The controller asked for his bosses number, gave him a dressing down and lo and behold. Husbands home. 2-3 hours of fighting to have that as the outcome. Ridiculous. But it wasnt worth the husband risking it as we would have lost wages and he could have possibly been sent to the naval prision. Because whilst his reasons are good being awol is being awol.<br />
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It has made us think long and hard about the future. Does he stay or leave. For now I am taking each day as it comes and we have both agreeded to wait till we get to Scotland and then make the decision....<br />
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More catching up to come soon!!Emmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03243025854819361021noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7891836075676425502.post-87212186034095584922011-12-15T10:09:00.001+00:002011-12-15T10:09:31.928+00:00A great week!So the last few days have been great and lifted my spirits. There's only one down side to this week and that was my rheumatology appointment. I went in to explain about my hip, it only hurts when I walk and it feels like bone grinding on bone which is really painful. He wasn't suprised and basically told me its not a case of if it's a case of when I need a hip replacement but obviously they want to prolong that for as long as is possible!<br />
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The other thing is how broody I have been. I know that I would be stupid to have another one until my health is under control and it wouldn't be fair on H. Plus in the new year the hubby's going back on submarines.<br />
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I'm not as upset as I normally would be because I have Holly and we can go visiting friends...<br />
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Speaking of that! On Tuesday I got a phone call from hubby saying that he had a training course in Portsmouth and me and H could go with him so I texted a good friend of mine who I hadn't yet met who lives there asking if she knew of any cheap hotels. Well she did but asked us to stay with her and her family! I had a great time it was lovely to have adult company and someone to help with H although i was very proud of myself for looking after an 8 month and 4 month old for just over half an hour! And it didn't stress me to much but then again it wasn't for long!<br />
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Well we have a new bed coming on Monday and them as the hubby is on leave we are off to go see my mum in Swindon and exchange Xmas gifts.<br />
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I feel kind of torn about Christmas at the moment. Originally it was going to be the three of us for H's first Christmas but hubby's uncle has invited us to spend it with his family. I get the impression that hubby wants to go as he feels it should be a time when your with family. But we are a family the three of us. I don't mind doing something boxing day I just had certain expectations of this Christmas with it being H's first and I know I'm maybe putting to much pressure on myself. But I also want to do what's going to make the hubby happy. Plus his uncle and aunt have always been so good to us that I kind of feel like I'm letting them down if I don't go. Can I just cancel Christmas this year?! It's giving me a headache everytime we seem to have a plan and are all sorted and then everything changes!! <br />
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Patch the bunny is not in the good books today. The little darling managed to get hold of the curtains through his cage god knows how, and an he's chewed a nice hole in it. He definatley needs the snip he's getting a wee bit boisterous!! <br />
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H is thriving although had us worried when she lost her appetite but the dic has said she's fine she's just teething really bad!! <br />
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She's desperate to walk and keeps trying to stand without furniture! She's just such a happy baby and it really does make my life easier looking after her. Although she does have a stubborn streak and has a new thing where by when I tell her no she replies yes!!! She's getting her own personality and is a real poser for the camera. <br />
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I'm making the most of Christmas by dressing her up and taking pictures! I have also realised that the buggy I have is useless the brakes don't always work and one of the wheels keep going wonky plus it's a bit heavy for me so I think after Xmas I may be saving to get a new one!<br />
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<div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-ngPJJQqAlJQ/TunHWkWET2I/AAAAAAAAAMg/C8xKLir8_bc/s640/blogger-image--1177791892.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-ngPJJQqAlJQ/TunHWkWET2I/AAAAAAAAAMg/C8xKLir8_bc/s640/blogger-image--1177791892.jpg" /></a></div>Emmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03243025854819361021noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7891836075676425502.post-71093137954006811072011-12-02T17:15:00.001+00:002011-12-13T18:27:27.187+00:00The lies that people tellOk so I know I've really neglected my blog of late. <br />
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I've been to rock bottom and back again. Well at least that's what it feels like! Well I shall do my best to catch you up.. But I warn you I am typing this on my phone so you will have to excuse any typos..<br />
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As the majority of you know I had my gallbladder out about a month ago and really things haven't improved too much. I've lost four stone in the last 6 months- don't get me wrong I love an excuse to buy new clothes.. It is concerning however when I've not been active and I haven't exactly been the worlds healthiest eater!!<br />
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Well I went for a scan after a month of having my gallbladder and I have one doctor telling me that it's just bruising there. Another telling me there's a blood clot and a collection of stones.. So I think I have to wait for another scan!! <br />
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With all my symptoms and the fact that I am not absorbing my vitamins as I should they want to test for Chrons disease- runs in the family and does add up.<br />
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Then after the joy of being almost free from back pain that's come back to bite me in the bum with a vengeance! It spasms and not only that but now it has a new trick! It locks up and renders me imobile until the hubby literally moves me- not a pleasant experience. It's also a pain in the proverbial both literally and mentally. Try having a very active 8 month old who has decided that now is a grand time to stand up and try to walk. Plus you can guarantee the time my back goes is when I need to get her out of her cot or it's dinner time and this does not make for a happy baby or mummy!!<br />
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I'm trying so hard these days to focus on the things I can do. Things that a few months ago were impossible. Walking would be a grand example!! H is growing up so fast and I don't feel I'm missing out as much as I was. What is a pain however is that when the hubby comes in from work he takes over and nine times out of ten I go bed. My biggest fear is that this is going to impact on our relationship in a bad way. So we do what we always do. We make the best of what we've got and make sure we are open with one another..<br />
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One of the things that hurt alot. More than I was prepared to admit was my father. He's an alcoholic. Along with a lot of other things. We hadn't spoken in years. When I found out he had cancer I tried to make amends. Maybe for selfish reasons in the sense that I did not want anything to happen to him and I hadn't tried. <br />
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Well the first time I tried I got a not so nice email. Basically telling me as far as he was concerned he didn't have a daughter an all I ever did was cause problems. Then it was followed by a complete lie. You see me and his wife have never really seen eye to eye. Apparently my father was seriously ill in hospital with a blood clot on the lung (since found out it wasn't serious and certainly wasn't a clot but hey ho) so anyway his wife tells him she's contacted me and I've said I don't care. <br />
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Well anyway. I try to tell him this hasn't happened at all to no avail! So I left it. Then I heard that things were pretty bad. By this time I was pregnant with his first grandchild. I felt he deserved another chance. So I tried again. Totally different response almost like a different person answered the email! <br />
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He told me how happy he was for me etc. Now stupidly what with him having chemo I honestly managed to get in my head that he wouldn't be drinking anymore. So we went off to meet up. First thing that happens when we get there bear in mind it's probably about 2pm is that he cracks a cider open. I think my heart sunk at that I felt gullible for believing that things could honestly change and like so many times before where he was concerned I felt let down!<br />
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Other than a slight disagreement and the obvious awkwardness the night seemed to go smoothly. He said that he wanted to leave the past in the past this was fine by me as I knew that we would just argue about it as we have done so many times before..<br />
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So things went well and we came home. I felt a little hope that maybe H could have some form of a relationship with him. After she was born they came to see us. We went for a meal and then came back to the house. We hadn't been back long when he said he needed to get back to the hotel and would nip in on the way home the next day. <br />
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I was surprised to say the least he hadn't been round for long and it seemed a long way to come, plus he didn't seem to be that interested in H. I jokingly said to the hubby I bet he had to get back so he could go to the pub. The next day my joke was proved to be a spot on theory. <br />
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Well as far as I was concerned as long as he wasn't doing it around me or H I didn't care. I didn't need to know or be a part of it. <br />
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We were then asked to go to their caravan for my step mums birthday. Whilst there after my Dad had had one to many he told me and the hubby that he had five years left to live. Really didn't know how to feel about that one. Or how to react.<br />
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Fast forward a few months later when I'm informed that it's all a lie. My Dad been given the all clear. Since I found that and the fact that they need bothered to get in contact when I had emergency surgery I stopped all contact.<br />
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I can't believe that anyone would be sick enough to lie about that. I certainly don't need him in my life I've managed very well so far. I don't need the heartache and I don't want H to suffer because of his lies. I feel stupid for falling for it. It's not like it's the first time he's told me he's dying but the fact he had cancer I had no reason to think otherwise really!!! <br />
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So now trust becomes an issue for me again. I know some people won't be happy that I've posted this but you know what I don't care. My Dad has told so many lies about me and caused problems in the family that it's time the truth came our about him. He's nothing but a drunk and a wife beater. Him and his current wife are as bad as on another and deserve one another!! <br />
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I realise now that sometimes you make your own family. Friends can become your family and an important part of your life when they are true friends. <br />
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I guess my main thoughts are I don't know how family's do things like that to one another. You can't always take people at face value even if they are some one you are supposed to be able to depend upon. Emmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03243025854819361021noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7891836075676425502.post-88167813911714431552011-10-18T13:47:00.001+01:002011-11-02T16:36:53.671+00:00Gallbladder opThe strip lights were flickering above. Whispered conversations were being had all around the room. You could hear the click click of heels walking up and down the corridors, the beeping of machines and snoring.<br />
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I was back in hospital and it felt like hell on earth! It three weeks on Wednesday I had gone to the doctors because my gallbladder hadn't stopped hurting for near on 48hours - I was booked in for a routine gallbladder removal the following week, I was happy to wait but not so happy with the pain. <br />
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When I got to the doctors they sent me straight to the surgical assesment unit. Good job really my gallbladder was septic and could have burst. So after being taken down for emergency surgery on the Thursday I was trying to sleep things off in between pressing my morphine button.<br />
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Because of the drip and morphine machine I was wired to I needed help when I wanted to get to the toilet as I couldn't physically get to the plug or bend in that direction. Well I ended up with the snottiest health care assistant ever!<br />
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Every time I got back to my bed she would refuse to reset my morphine machine saying it automatically did it- it didn't. Then as I would go to put my oxygen mask back on I would find ut turned off. Being told that I didn't need it- funny that, a consultant is highly more qualified and he's said I'm too stay on it because of my blood pressure or some other reason.<br />
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When I would ask her for pain relief I wouldn't get it would have to keep buzzing until I got someone else as he would conveniently forget!<br />
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Then to top it off the next morning she's doing the rounds asks me my pain level- now since I'd been on this ward it was between one and three , three being the highest. I put mine between 2.5 and 3 to be told I wasn't in pain. HELLO it's MY body! <br />
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Now don't get me wrong there are some fantastic people out there doing the job, but some people shouldn't. It doesn't help recovery and being in hospitals depressing enough! And I'm sorry but wether or not they are having a bad day or not is not a good enough excuse to take it out on the patients. To be honest it's now left me petrified when I have to go in hospital.<br />
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Then to top my day of at 3am one of the girls on the ward has decided its a perfect time to play her music. Queue one unimpressed me shouting for her to turn it off. Wouldn't have minded if that had happened instead a few of us had to complain. Now this grates me because as soon as H started getting too noisy D would take her for a walk- this was during visiting hours and she is a baby. Then I had a snorer next to me, a lady who obviously wasn't very well mentally screaming help me every five minutes (she thought she was falling bless her) and one of the worst sounds in the world retching all of them. I was itching to get out!<br />
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When I went to change out of my gown I realised that blood had seeped through so lifting it up expecting to see dressings all I saw was an open wound- trust me I nearly retched! They had glued my wounds. Really clever not!<br />
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Three weeks on and I'm in worse pain than before I had the bloody thing out. My belly button wound has been open for a while now and I'm on my second dose of anti biotics.. With no sign of it disappearing.<br />
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Now you would think that would be my bad luck over oh no. Why would we allow that!! My leg fits as I'm walking with my frame, I go down straight on to my ankle. Now I've broken my ankle before and walked on it and this was more painful. Due to the fact I was upstairs had to call out the ambulance men. So after being stabbed with a needle and having it wriggled about five times (nice bruises!) they find a vain hip hip hooray! Time for the morphine not that it touches it. Then begins the fun, them carrying me down the stairs- not an experience I wish to repeat.<br />
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So when I first get there I'm put on a special bed to elevate my ankle because of how badly swollen my ankle was. I was given no pain reliefs and after a few puffs the gas and air runs out and the doctor refuses to replace it because apparently it doesn't help... Now tell me why would I be asking for it if it wasn't helping?!<br />
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So off for X-ray the doctor comes back pushes my foot up and tells me that it's not broken- I'm screaming at this point do he decides that he's going to say that I'm feeling pain when I shouldn't be as he didn't touch me. And seems as it wasn't swollen clearly theres nothing wrong its at this point i refuse to let him touch me due to the pain. So another Dr comes over screaming the whole time as he twists my ankle he tells me it's strained and that from a medical point of view there is nothing wrong. <br />
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Then he sees how I'm holding my foot and asks if I have cramp. No its the most comfortable position oh in that case you've probably strained your tendons. Contradictory! I have one telling me to rest for a few weeks another telling me to use it. So at the moment I'm doing a bit of both.<br />
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Sadly I have taken a step back. I'm back in the wheelchair as it would seem something happened to my back during the fall. Then again it's not that long ago I had that operated on!! <br />
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They have started me on a new med which means coming off the others cold turkey. I am so tired but the itching and fidgeting is stopping what little sleep i was managing. Now the pain management consultant thinks I may have fibromyalgia but now it appears that I have two infections and a joint flare up I'm praying that's not the case. <br />
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Waiting on a scan as they think I may have a collection of stones or bile, which possibly means more surgery. It's draining. I'm feel back at rock bottom and then to top this week of the hubby ends up having to have a tooth out and is really poorly with it so end up down a and e with him at 4am.<br />
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What is it with this family?! I think it's time our luck changed. Got to say that I'm hoping never to have to have surgery in Plymouth again. Each experience has left its mental and at present non healing physical scars on me.<br />
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So what with all that had happened at the weekend I decided me and D needed a break. So after a quick surf on the net I decided we should head to Roscoff, France. You see if we got the overnight ferry there and one back wouldn't need to spend on a hotel. Because of my wheelchair we needed a disabled cabin. I have to say I'm extremely impressed they made sure they parked you next to the lift and held it for you. The rooms were huge with a push of a button the door opened for you and there was even a seat in the shower!<br />
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The crossing there was great and it felt like we were there longer than a dy. apart from the odd hitch with the wheelchair it was a fantastic weekend and we has a real laugh and let our hair down. You have to make the most of being kid free!! Although it's almost to quiet without her and I am rather missing her although she's having a whale of a time!<br />
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My only comment would be is by closing the shops and restaurant so early they are losing out on some serious money as you only really have the chance to do one or the other unless you rush!!<br />
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Well I was going to write about my feelings towards Halloween and Carol singing in this post, but I've rambled on enough already and I don't think I have the energy to type anymore!!<br />
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<div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-shYmBMd9i8c/TrFxoHE8liI/AAAAAAAAAKs/2bzVhB0l1es/s640/blogger-image--1660036375.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-shYmBMd9i8c/TrFxoHE8liI/AAAAAAAAAKs/2bzVhB0l1es/s640/blogger-image--1660036375.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-sB5R3Jbjlyg/TrFxolTGnDI/AAAAAAAAAKw/02tnxFhIXQw/s640/blogger-image-1738143764.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-sB5R3Jbjlyg/TrFxolTGnDI/AAAAAAAAAKw/02tnxFhIXQw/s640/blogger-image-1738143764.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/--FoCua7Udbg/TrFxpKENnsI/AAAAAAAAAK4/PYwz1PZrx10/s640/blogger-image--986719067.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/--FoCua7Udbg/TrFxpKENnsI/AAAAAAAAAK4/PYwz1PZrx10/s640/blogger-image--986719067.jpg" /></a></div>Emmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03243025854819361021noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7891836075676425502.post-35526880215237719672011-10-11T20:48:00.000+01:002011-10-11T20:48:28.414+01:00Shopping with a mobility scooterSo I know I'm not the only disabled shopper in the world. As a first experience it wasn't the best,although it was slightly humourous, now i look back on it that is! I think I will be sticking to online shopping.As I don'tthink I will be braving a scoote for some time to come .<br />
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Firstly and this probably sounds rather vain, but I hated being in one and the looks that I got! I wanted to shout if you want to know just ask. Then its almost like a pity party of everyone jumping out your way avoiding eye contact or diving in to reach that product that's just a little to high up the shelves for you. Now that may sound extremely ungrateful, and I don't mean to come across that way but.. I was with my husband. Its for me difficult enough being in this position and I will ask him for help if I need it. I have or was always very independent until I met my husband, I still felt like I had some of that left so with people doing that it just felt they were taking strips of independence away. I suppose a little dignity, whats left of it after you have had a baby anyway!<br />
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Then as I was upstairs and the hubby had wondered off the blasted scooter wouldn't move. I'd like to point out that at this point the little light was still green indicating it still had battery left. Well it let me reverse but just refused to go forward. I could see people looking at me and felt the colour rising in my face. I felt like asking one woman if her mother had never taught her that it was rude to stare!<br />
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So after a few heart stopping minutes the thing starts up again, I go and join my husband and tell him in no way is he to leave me behind. Now I don't drive, so when I crashed in to a display full of clothes my husband said that it was probably a good thing. Luckily the display was sturdy and nothing broke. I however by now am scowling. I look to the little light, we'd probably been in the store for all of 15mins and its on red. So thinking that it turns to red with plenty of time to get you back to the front of I go. <br />
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Just as we reached the home stretch it started to give out on me. So the hubby pushed it from behind with the trolley and I made it to the customer service desk- just. I asked for another one. I couldn't use a normal chair as H was in the big trolley that D was pushing and we needed the big trolley. I like shopping and didn't want to have to sit on a bench red faced whilst the hubby finished up. So they give me another scooter...<br />
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I didn't get very far before it broke down in the middle of the store. At that point I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. There were no more scooters and it wasn't the shortest walk to the front of the store. No way was I dragging that thing and because it had completely lost power D couldn't even push it far from behind. So it had to be abandoned, bit like the rest of the shopping really. <br />
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There were no more scooters and really at this point, even though my husband was highly amused I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry as quite a few people had seen this happen and looking back yes I can laugh. But is it too much to ask that they charge the scooters when they put them back? I wasn't going to take the risk of a third scooter and there was no way I could walk round the rest of the way so it was a case of 'lets go home and D can finish it tomorrow'. Which got my goat a little bit really. I may have had a few disasters with online shopping but at least that's behind a screen!! So until I build up the confidence again I am only left with the choice of online shopping which after having my gallbladder out next week will probably be all I feel up to!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6VXhBWNZq_g/TpSV1C66kAI/AAAAAAAAAKU/OJLofF5qxNQ/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" kca="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6VXhBWNZq_g/TpSV1C66kAI/AAAAAAAAAKU/OJLofF5qxNQ/s320/photo.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>Emmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03243025854819361021noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7891836075676425502.post-59612109507390342222011-10-02T13:54:00.000+01:002011-10-02T13:54:59.426+01:00Back in PlymouthI am back in Plymouth now. Hopefully to stay. Just waiting to hear when my gallbladder op will be and if D will be allowed the time off work if not I will have to go back and stay with my mum.<br />
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That's not such a big deal as luckily now that I am older me and mum get on a lot better and tend to try and talk things out rather than having argument. The other good thing is it means I get to catch up with all my friends because at the moment Plymouth is quite lonely as I don't know many people and unless there are mum and baby groups in the evening when D can take me, I don't really have a hope in hell of getting there.<br />
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I have finally changed the medication patches I was on, so at least I am not being driven up the wall with the urge to scratch! However, I am not entirely sure the dose is high enough as I can feel all my joints and gallbladder pain more than what I normally do. I am also getting the sleepy side affects. It would be so easy to just go back to Swindon for another week or until my medication is sorted out, but I don't see the point. I need to try powering through this as I am always going to have bad days with my joints and with my back.<br />
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I intend to ignore the housework, well try my hardest anyway. I am just going to concentrate on H and me and when she naps so will I. I feel like a new mum except my baby is 6months old and a hell of a lot more active than a new born. She is also stubborn as hell when she wants something... can't think where she gets that from lol! However, it does feel amazing that after all this time I can finally feed her without crying with the pain. I think and have probably said this before that the back surgery was the best thing I could have ever done!<br />
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She is sitting up unaided for longer periods of time and is getting frustrated that she can't crawl, not that it stops her from getting to where she wants to go, which is normally somewhere shes not supposed to be. She was shaking her juice all over her yesterday and had a roaring hissy fit when I took it off her and looked to her dad.<br />
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I am guessing she is going to be a daddy's girl! Would love to know what goes through their minds. She wasn't too well last night but seems fine this morning. Even if she did get up at 1am to have a little chat to herself and blow some bubbles, don't get me wrong she doesn't cry out to get up she sends herself back off to sleep. But I would love to know why she does it!!<br />
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Hub has joined me up with net mums so that I can meet other mums in the area. It really all depends on if they feel comfortable going to a strangers house for a drink though as there is no way I am near enough ready to get out and about. Which reminds me I need to do a food shop in a bit. Oh the joys. Considering trying asda to see if they are cheaper.<br />
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Anyway I think I have rambled on about nothing for the past ten minutes so if you managed to get this far well done! I guess the reason I am staying in Plymouth is that I need to try. I need to try and build up a good network of friends here like what I have in Swindon as I don't know that I can handle being a weekend wife. It also depends as to why my leg and arm have fits though, as I may be left with no choice but to move back. Its now just a waiting game and boy do I hate waiting!Emmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03243025854819361021noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7891836075676425502.post-19256524228546751552011-09-30T15:51:00.000+01:002011-09-30T15:51:49.920+01:00A navy wife rant!! Beware!So I am sat in the garden this morning writing this post, as H has decided yet again she would prefer to nap in the garden rather than her cot, not that she is doing much napping, note me writing a post rather than getting my head back down. <br />
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H decided a fun time to get up would be 6.15am blowing bubbles, this is after a restless night of her tossing and turning and coughing. One of the things I am looking forward to when I go home is her being back in her own room so that when I need the toilet at 2am and she is half awake I don't have to creep past!<br />
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Today is Friday and normally I would be spending the whole day in excited anticipation of the hubby coming home, as originally he wasn't duty for a few more weeks. However, this has now all changed. Life in the big blue one as his old boss used to say, normally at the most inappropriate of times but hey ho its true.<br />
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Yes I knew what lifestyle I was marrying into and the thoughts and worries that come with it. But sadly you don't get to chose who you fall in love with. What really gets my goat is when people turn around and say well you knew this was going to be your life. Just because I knew it doesn't mean I have to like it.<br />
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The thing I hate most at the moment, is knowing he is coming home from work everyday and yet I can't see him unless we do face time god bless the iphone! Its not the same though. You can't cuddle up to that in bed. I didn't chose to come to Swindon, don't get me wrong I am enjoying spending time with my friends and my Mum. But its not the same, I want to be home. <br />
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This weekend I was supposed to be going home and seeing if I could manage in the hours that D works if not I would come back for another week or two. However, because today is the big day when they are announcing the redundancies apparently anyone who gets it is being sent home on 5 days leave. As D's office has already lost about three people and with two people up for redundancy it means that possibly he will be the only one that can do the duty and this weekend there is a lot of work on.<br />
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We had plans and I hate the fact that at the last minute a bombshell like this gets dropped. Just like the week before we were supposed to be moving to Cyprus everything packed in boxes and me living at home we found out that wasn't happening. No reason given. That's the life in the big blue one. <br />
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I hate the fact that I don't know if I am going to see him today or not. I may not know until four o'clock this afternoon. Its the constant uncertainties. As stupid as it sounds its easier when he's on deployment. Because I know I can't seem him, sometimes even have no contact with him. Its just knowing that he's at home and I am stuck here. There is no way on earth I am well enough to take the train. Plus then there is the luggage that comes with having a child, how the heck would I carry all that.<br />
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Its not just mine and D's plans messed up if this happens. Potentially its my mums to. As she will need to be here or at least someone will to help me out over the weekend. <br />
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Don't get me wrong not all aspects of a navy wife are bad. There are many support sites through which I have made some genuine and some not so genuine friends. One lady who I had never even met crocheted a blanket as a gift for when H was born, even though she had lost nearly everything in a house fire, no home insurance... Ladies and Gents please make sure you have it because you don't know who its going to happen to! Also other people have been supportive in times of need offering words of wisdom.<br />
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However, some forces wife's can be clicky and use their husbands rank as their own. This riles me, because whilst me and D are a couple I wouldn't dream of using his rank, I am my own person. <br />
<br />
You can get women who are there through the thick and thin because they know what its truly like, as your normal friends can only really sympathise. Don't get me wrong I am thanking my lucky stars that D isn't in the category for redundancuy and for now his job is stable. Its a good wage and means that I can stay at home with my baby. <br />
<br />
Which is even better considering all the problems with my health at the moment. Also their welfare system can be really helpful. The housing is cheap. You can get discount in certain places, but why shouldn't we have a few luxury's when our husbands could be putting their lives on the line for our country. <br />
<br />
Plus those with children are single parents to all intents and purposes when there is a deployment. I am proud of my husband and the job he does. What makes it even better is that he enjoys his job, so I would never dream of asking him to give it up. Only if he wanted to. I have always said that whatever he chooses to do I will support him in and I mean that 100% because that in my eyes is what marriage is about. Its also about so much more, compromise as well as understanding truth and trust. Because I have always believed that if you don't have trust you don't have anything left. Especially when your oh or husband is in a job like mine. Its so much worse than long distance sometimes.<br />
<br />
There are times when I don't even know where he is. My main concern now is for H and how it will affect her and I guess it wont as she will know no different. It will affect me on her behalf though, especially the times when there is no contact for months. Those are the times I chose to not watch the news, its too depressing and worrying when an article comes on.<br />
<br />
Sometimes I think that what the navy fail to realise is us women are the ones fighting behind the scenes, fighting to keep a smile on our partners faces when they go to battle or in tough places. Fighting to make them remember that they have something worth fighting for, something to come home to. That's why every time D has been away for awhile I try to give him the best home coming every time. So that he fights tooth and nail to come home.<br />
<br />
Hey ho life goes on and we have a beautiful daughter who I thought was asleep for all of five minutes anyway. Here's today's picture that made me smile. Because when life gets tough you have to roll with the punches and make your own happiness.<br />
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Brilliant news since writing this I have found out that D doesn't have to take the duty because those who applied for it don't get the 5 days leave.. Hurrah!!<br />
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</div>Daddy's girl in her sailor dress!Emmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03243025854819361021noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7891836075676425502.post-40699923343146016352011-09-29T09:25:00.000+01:002011-09-29T09:25:00.587+01:00A Birthday and a Long Weekend (Plus H's long awaited hospital results)<span lang="">Well the weekend just gone was a long weekend in more ways than one! D had the Monday off as we were getting the long awaited results of H's scan.</span><br />
<span lang="">Also it was his Grandma's birthday. We went to visit her in Paignton and she loved her present which was a photo album with a few wedding pics of mine and D's as she had asked for one before and we hadn't got round to it. The rest of the album was H. On the front of the album I put my favourite picture of H and her great gran on the front.</span><br />
<br />
<span lang=""> </span><span lang="">I was pleased to see that the present was a real hit! She loved it. In her eyes H is perfect. I love D's grandma to pieces she's one of the most honest people going. The way she see's it is that she is 94 and has earned the right to say what she feels no matter what other people think!! Fair play!</span><br />
<span lang="">We were planning on going for a cream tea but by this time she was quite tired so we decided we would all go out for Sunday lunch the next day. Well when we got to D's Uncle and Aunties plans had changed and we were eating there. Sadly I don't like fish or eggs so I made do with a ham sandwich, whilst H chattered away or should I say shouted... my she has found her lungs!</span><br />
<span lang="">My mother in law managed to get some fantastic photos, one being the four generations of a family. The other photo's were of all of us that had gone to the birthday girls lunch. They were all fantastic, she really is a dab hand with a camera! The ones she took of H when she was first born looked like professional ones.<br />
Here's two of my favourite pictures.</span><br />
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<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-IcMdHVvQ70o/ToQpgGe4KfI/AAAAAAAAAJo/dDfEj32z4fk/s1600/four+generations.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="228" kca="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-IcMdHVvQ70o/ToQpgGe4KfI/AAAAAAAAAJo/dDfEj32z4fk/s320/four+generations.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mUAj1uP52Ws/ToQpq4RdEmI/AAAAAAAAAJs/Ha1hA4DrURc/s1600/family+phot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" kca="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mUAj1uP52Ws/ToQpq4RdEmI/AAAAAAAAAJs/Ha1hA4DrURc/s320/family+phot.jpg" width="306" /></a></div><span lang="">So then it was Monday which was going to be a mad day, as H had her hospital appointment I had the doctors, and the rabbit should have gone to the vets. So up ready and early again. I suppose I better get used to early mornings...</span><br />
<span lang=""><br />
Well we went in to see the consultant and he told us that H's scans were clear. So if she does bang her head then I don't have to worry that she is completely deaf. So the next thing was for me to deal with the consultants god like arrogance. <br />
I asked him what exactly did he mean by the comment next time I was pregnant I would have to be more careful. To which he stuttered and stammered and said he was going to get the nurse who had sat in on the last consult as he didn't think for one minute he would say something like that. As I pointed out to him there was two of us that had heard the comment.<br />
There was so many contradictions, for example we had been told originally that the type of hearing loss H had a hearing aid wouldn't help, we have now been told otherwise. Then it went from H being completely deaf to the fact that she may not be completely deaf but only slightly. <br />
I did get more than one apology and I left it there as we do need to deal with him in the future and I don't want it affecting H's care. I left feeling satisfied this time, rather than being left feeling like H's deafness was my fault. Which it isn't! Even though now it would appear she may not even be deaf!! Whats the point in the tests when they don't tell us they can be wrong? <br />
My doctors appointment was for my pain patches, they have been driving me up the wall. They have been itchy and when they come off leaving massive red lumps and weeping until like a sun burn peeling. Turns out I am allergic to plasters now! So we are trying a different type of patch, same drug so that what happened last time can't happen again!!<br />
D's fine, he always is bless him. I really miss him during the week and know that he is missing us, especially the way he comes running in to see H on a Friday, its so sweet to watch. As a couple we have been through more than most couples go through in a life time and we are coming out stronger for it. He has been amazing and I can't thank him enough for being there as a shoulder and keeping my confidence up and also not repeating on what I have said to him. I love you D and I can't wait to be home again xxx</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-erbuD1ou9QA/ToQoV96MRNI/AAAAAAAAAJg/uI_dXcmsXFs/s1600/great+gran+and+hol.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" kca="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-erbuD1ou9QA/ToQoV96MRNI/AAAAAAAAAJg/uI_dXcmsXFs/s320/great+gran+and+hol.jpg" width="262" /></a></div>Emmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03243025854819361021noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7891836075676425502.post-78886792144277794532011-09-27T13:38:00.001+01:002011-09-27T13:40:57.497+01:00Little H and Me<span lang="">Firstly big apologies for neglecting my blog so badly. I promise I will try to come on more often with updates but life for me at the moment has been one manic time!<br />
<br />
For those of you who follow my blog you will know I recently have had a back operation and needed to move back in with my mum so she could help look after the little one whilst I got back on my feet as my husband wasn't allowed any more compassionate time off, as he had had quite alot. <br />
<br />
This back operation was a risk as we didn't know that it would solve my back pain. Obviously with any spinal surgery it also carried risks. I was so desperate that I was ready to try anything. <br />
I have to say its the best thing I have ever done. Yes I am still waiting to have my gallbladder out and to find out why my arms and legs sometimes have a life of their own. But to go from being wheeled from the bedroom to the bathroom because I couldn't walk that far due to the pain. To being able to feed H and walk is just amazing. <br />
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Being in swindon has also come with benefits like many visitors! So it's been great but it means that I havent had much time to myself. Which is hard enough to come by as it is! I have enjoyed it don't get me wrong. I have also enjoyed the fact that the time me and hubby have spent together has been more quality time because we are making the most of what we have!<br />
<br />
H is changing everyday at the moment. To start with in the highchair she had to sit on the cushion, that was only a week ago, but now she doesn't need that cushion as she has grown so much!<br />
She can sit up unaided for short periods of time. She can get anywhere she wants by rolling and commando crawling. She says mumumumum and dadadada. She can also say yeah and no. <br />
<br />
It was quite funny last night she was being really loud and it was getting close to her bed time. So I turned to her and said, it's quiet time now H your going bed soon. To which me and my mum heard a shouted NO! Well she probably didn't know what it meant but it was comical timing!<br />
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A quick update on me, I am still in Swindon but I don't think it will be long before I am able to go home. Admittedly the house work and cooking will still fall down to D but as long as I can sort H out and get myself breakfast which I need to start remembering we will be alright!<br />
<br />
I also know that when I move back it doesn't matter if I don't see many people as I have one friend who has texted me everyday and has kept my spirits right up. I have never met this lady but I can't wait to. Once again people like this restore my trust in people. As that as most of you who are regular readers will know has been such a hard thing for me to do, after a fair few people collectively used and abused my trust.<br />
<br />
I have decided to write a letter to H, for her to look back on in years to come.<br />
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Dear H,<br />
When I am feeding you please stop looking down and moving your head just as the spoon is going in, I don't like it anymore than you do when the food goes up your nose. <br />
<br />
Also after dinner time you are messy and I need to wipe you down. Your baby wipes are NOT food please stop trying to eat them.<br />
<br />
When I am changing your bum it would be great if you didn't keep rolling over because it would be done quicker and everyone would be happy. <br />
<br />
I know you like to think your the next Houdini but you can leave your high chair straps alone!! Your too little to start trying that!<br />
<br />
When I say no to you, your not supposed to laugh. When I say no and you get upset don't look to your dad, he's on my side!<br />
<br />
But mostly I have to stop going shops as you have enough toys and clothes now lol! <br />
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I love you lots, but please just go to sleep at your nap times like a good girl!<br />
Mummy xxx</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-U5-msYCAa38/ToHETxUFPUI/AAAAAAAAAJY/nedGwTGpqcE/s1600/holly+sitting.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" kca="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-U5-msYCAa38/ToHETxUFPUI/AAAAAAAAAJY/nedGwTGpqcE/s320/holly+sitting.jpg" width="238" /></a></div>Emmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03243025854819361021noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7891836075676425502.post-78886019441304634532011-09-22T19:25:00.000+01:002011-09-22T19:25:57.637+01:00Impluse Buying Strikes Again<span lang=""> Well I think that's it as a family we can officially say we win hands down at impulse buying. Last weekend I had decided that whilst I still had my wheelchair, as I can only walk short distances that it was the best time to go Christmas shopping. I wanted to get all of it done and dusted so that within a few weeks I could wrap them up ready to rock and roll!<br />
<br />
So I was huffing and puffing a bit when the husband turned his nose up at ALL of my suggestions for his family, I have warned him if he isn't careful he will be doing the Christmas shopping himself. He then retaliated that he could always Internet shop. To which I retaliated well look where that got people last year.<br />
<br />
So I think at this stage we both realised that enough was enough we weren't getting any further but have <br />
managed to completely tick two people off the list and get our Christmas cards. Which I must say was a bargain one of the bits I picked up in said shop should have been £15 alone and the cards another £5 on top. When in total it came to £7.10 I wasn't arguing!!<br />
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So anyway knowing how much I love rabbit's and dogs and well most animals. Hub and me decide we would take H to see the animals, yup even as young as she is she's a great excuse!!<br />
<br />
Well we kind of came out with a bunny rabbit. He's completely back except for one of his front paws that is white and under his neck I was a bit worried about telling mum about her overnight guest visitor but she actually seemed quite happy! Well until she got home and realised it was indoor visitor!<br />
<br />
It's not the first impulse buy and to be honest, compared to the last impulse buy this one was extremely tame. When I was about 8 months pregnant, don't remember if I have told this one or not baby brain, so I am going to tell it again! I had a real bad craving for lamb chops. <br />
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On the way to the shop we ended up buying a car. Can honestly say its the most expensive lamb chops ever, but then in all fairness. It had to be done at the time, we were getting about in a Mazda M X 5 for those who don't know about cars, its a tiny two seater and not ideal for a pregnant lady. <br />
<br />
So that was my day last weekend, did you do anything interesting. <br />
<br />
My back did still seem to be on the mend until today, but I suppose everyday is a day closer to getting me home, I just hate not knowing when. I also apologise now for badly neglecting my blog the last few days, when I haven't been looking after H I have been sleeping or on the phone to the hubby, who I think may actually be finding this harder than me. At least I am being inundated with visitors whilst he's left walking round the house seeing mine and H's things and expecting us just to be in the next room. Although he is staying up beat, maintaining that as long as I don't put myself back by doing too much too soon that's a good thing, which sadly I have to agree with!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MCXd_PzT-3A/Tnt9lhLAX5I/AAAAAAAAAJQ/Iu4bvYAtwxg/s1600/patch.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" hca="true" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MCXd_PzT-3A/Tnt9lhLAX5I/AAAAAAAAAJQ/Iu4bvYAtwxg/s320/patch.jpg" width="238" /></a></div></span>Emmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03243025854819361021noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7891836075676425502.post-49686358236060453332011-09-15T22:00:00.000+01:002011-09-15T22:00:17.721+01:00A Great DayToday has been well brilliant. Yesterday due to a dodgy tummy I blame the orange high juice personally! I had managed to ditch the zimmer frame, because trust me, you can not run with that thing! Yesterday I had made the decision to come off the Ora morph unless I needed it badly say in the evening. So after not taking that for the first time ever, I heard Holly wake up and cry.<br />
<br />
I left it for a few seconds, which always feels like hours when your baby is crying, I decided stuff it I am going to tackle the stairs. I made up, nearly giving my mum a heart attack in the process! Then I fed her breakfast and was glad that she went sleep after because it was 6am. <br />
<br />
So mum took her back upstairs and I got back in to bed and just as I was getting in to a deep sleep the doorbell went. It was Mr Postman. So I took the stuff inside, and decided I may as well ring the doctors. Then I was planning on getting back in bed. <br />
<br />
Well that plan went to pot, someone was awake so I decided to change her on the sofa with the changing mat, saves my back and I tell you its actually better than my changing station as that is too low for me. So with that done I let her play on the floor with her toys, whilst I got comfy on the sofa keeping an eye on her. H has decided its fun to either commando crawl and roll to reach the handles on my mums T.V unit trying to chew on them or open. Plus she will then go the other way trying to get in to the dinning room which currently is my bedroom.<br />
<br />
Anyway, she decided she had had enough of that and it was getting close to her lunch time so I put her in her round thingy ma bob that helps her sit up.. cant remember what its called haha! When mum seen me pick her up there was a gasp and E didn't think you could do that just yet. <br />
<br />
You see the leaflet says two months. I've not even reached to weeks post op yet. The relief I feel however is immense. I have now managed to cut down all off my tablets apart from those that seem to be helping with the shakes. <br />
<br />
So anyway. I fed her her lunch. Went and sat outside with her for a bit, as she loves it in the garden. She is so alert and totally fascinated by everything and every noise. Although to start with she wasn't too keen when mum started up the lawn mower but by just stroking her face and telling her it was ok calmed her.<br />
<br />
After that mum had decided to take H for a walk to the shops to get some bits in. I crawled in to bed. I was shocked I knew if I didn't sleep I'd regret it so I read for a bit and slept some. Then the doorbell went and it was Smiley C. So we had a catch up and apparently I am a bad influence and made her smoke too many cigarettes haha! By the time she was leaving it was H's tea time. Which is desert time which she normally laps up.<br />
<br />
H was having none of it, apparently the strap on the high chair was more tasty, so glama held that back and the lil bugga lugs just went to the other side, clever bugga lugs admittedly, but still lil bugga lugs! So after managing to get half down her bib and a couple of spoonfuls in she then decided to spit it out. Obviously she wasn't that hungry. So I left my mum to give her some juice while I spoke to the hub, who had left his phone in a different room. Yet had the home phone in front of him, not realising that particular one was not charged doh!<br />
<br />
So anyway I finally managed to get hold of him and the doorbell went again, because mum was cooking I got out of bed and it was T. She had changed her mind and decided to come round after all, she loves H. Then about 8 H had her bottle with her rusk in (which I fed her) and then put her down. <br />
<br />
If I say so myself I am quite pleased with myself, like I said before I am not even two weeks on from the surgery, and yes I do get pain, but nothing I can't handle. So I am ready to tackle this. Obviously the first week or so before going home I will do here to make sure I can do it and am ready, if I am not I have back up. <br />
<br />
The only thing is its like being a new mum. As I never really had the chance to do this much with her before. So its quite scary but I know I can do it and I will do it. I can't wait to get back to my husband. He can't wait either because he misses seeing me and H each day when he comes home from work and feels a bit lost. I tried to tell him that doing the house work would take his mind off it, but he didn't believe me, dunno why... haha.<br />
<br />
So that's all for today. I am posting this because I am proud of myself. I cannot thank the surgeons enough, they have changed my life less than two weeks ago I was in a wheelchair unable to walk or sit for long periods of time and now this. I am still resting though, I don't want to run before I can walk and set myself back.<br />
<br />
Me, hub and mum had come up with Christmas as a deadline, its looking likely that that may be thrown out of the window! Thing is H is so easy to look after, shes so happy and content to play. She will chat away to you but she doesn't need 24/7 attention. If she rolls over and bumps herself she's more likely to get back up and carry on. Just as if something makes her jump she will jump and then begin to laugh. My baby is a tough cookie, it runs in the family. <br />
<br />
I am so glad tomorrow is Friday as it means the hubby gets to Swindon and I have decided to keep the wheelchair for the weekend so that I can get the Christmas shopping out the way because I don't know how long it will be before I can walk or stand for long periods. I still couldn't stand and cook a dinner. What I can do though is look after me and my baby and that's what matters! This time I really am going, but I will leave you with a piccy that I love.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nIoGezlHhe0/TnJnUJwc66I/AAAAAAAAAJI/npJ5EFgMgA0/s1600/IMG_0753.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" rba="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nIoGezlHhe0/TnJnUJwc66I/AAAAAAAAAJI/npJ5EFgMgA0/s320/IMG_0753.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>Emmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03243025854819361021noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7891836075676425502.post-24089752461442453462011-09-14T00:56:00.000+01:002011-09-14T00:56:46.366+01:00Coming Round, The op and Recovery plus general catch up!!<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">coming round</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Well I had my surgery today. Although I may not be able to post this till I am home. At the moment I am very drugged up so if I am not making sense, that's my excuse and I am sticking to it!</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We had to get the ward for 7am so when someone told us that i may not go down until 1pm I felt like crying my mouth was dry my back however was in bits. I was very surprised to see my husband get all manly and demand that I be given a bed to lay on as I can not sit for long periods.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I'm surprised neither me or my husband launched at the stupid bollocks of a man who speaking at the top his voice said that nhs cuts were because they were paying money on equipment for the army, but he felt that more chairs were more necessary d. i. c. k. head. Personally I would loved to have put him straight, shame we got called out at that moment.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So anyway I have to stay on oxygen pretty much till I leave apparently it helps lower the risks of catching an infection which I do not bloody want thank you very much! I even have my own special toy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Its called a morphine pump although they have offered me Ketamine as well but this i refused as i would have been put on a ward and taken out of my side which i have luckily acquired.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I cant sleep on wards so i thought it was a fair sacrifice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They gave me something else instead though but it did begin with a c.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bit like Gas and Air really!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Makes me feel like i don't give a flying F***!!</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I say i don't give a flying but that was until hubby walked in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I felt sweet relief as i had my bitch back to run my errands LOL joke.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I sent him to get sweets drink and trashy magazines which always makes a girl feel better, even if at the moment everything is blurry and I am getting the hub to type this, im sure if i put my face close enough to the magazine I will be able to read it!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then for another shock which made me choke a bit. Uncee A the hubs mate had sent me a lovely card wishing the best of luck but it didn't stop there he had also sent me the most beautiful bouquet of flowers which arrived apparently in a nice vase as well. D has some competition for my hand LOL - erm I was dictating to my husband not anymore. I can't believe he has done that, it really is so sweet especially when some of my so called friends couldn't even wish me good luck! (And they are still looking and smelling lush a week on!!)</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So uncee A I just want to say a big thank you. You have always been their in the background. As soon as we brought H home from the hospital there was a parcel waiting for us. A Liverpool kit for H. The oh was none to pleased! neither was h come to think of it as no sooner had we put it on she was sick everywhere on the kit.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A week later.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Well the operation had gone well, I was as you can probably tell by the above post as high as a kite on morphine until I asked for the commode. The nurse brought it in. Left me, bear in mind I have just had back surgery and before it I was in a wheelchair, so its been a while since my legs have been used. Anyway I manage to get on the darn thing with the nurse button near me but the morphine button the other end of the bed. So I do my business and 40 yes 40 minutes later someone comes in leaving the door and curtain open whilst I am sat on the commode so obviously pretty stressed in a damn site lot of pain I tell her to close the curtain and I want a formal complaint made. You cannot leave someone like that for that long. Not that they really cared as far as they were concerned they were busy. So I said now I need something else for the pain, because at this point I was crying and on the verge of screaming in pain. The nurse comes in and says to me do I want ketamine. Er no. Don’t fancy being paralysed and hallucinating surely that’s not good for people suffering depression, just come round from surgery and wanting some sleep?! I want what I had before which had worked. I also want to stay in the side room because of how I'm feeling I wont sleep and don’t want to have other people looking at me or me looking at the horrid blue curtains that they don’t bother closing when you actually need privacy!!</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Anyway it took them 3 yes that’s right 3 hours of me screaming and crying in pain before they sent someone. Who got on his high horse when I told him yet again why I didn’t want to take the horse tranquilizer drug. He got the hump and said the one that I wanted meant 25minutes of his time and he would have to do my obs and I wasn’t worth his time as he had more important patients. There was also a third drug but he refused to tell me about it. So after arguing about patient choice for about 20 minutes in which time he could of done it he goes off gets the drug beginning with C which at the start you can see makes me a happy bunny. Except he doesn’t give me a full dose he, he doesn’t check any of my obs. Then he says is that any better, a little but not a lot. Well that will have to do, I have wasted enough time with you and I will not come back down if your in pain and if they do send someone you will have to have ketamine. Thought I didn’t have to do or have anything against my consent!!</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Anyway I am a week on the dressing has come off. I can walk slowly with a frame. Sometimes I am brave/ stupid you decide and go without and then have to sit down half way. I have had to come to Swindon for my recovery because the Navy will not allow my husband anymore time off. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I can’t pick up my baby girl for two months but at least when I am led or sat down people can pass her too me for cuddles. I am still going through the whole guilty about everyone else doing everything for her phase on and off. My auntie in Ireland sent a package of clothes over for H and they are adorable, she has great taste! I have managed to end up with lots of visitors which is nice but tiring. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am going back to Plymouth soon for some appointments one of which is H’s hearing scan results. I am still waiting for my latest MRI results. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Someone who obviously knows me and my husband well-ish is playing games and signing us up for sites that we didn’t join and couldnt have done on some of the dates! And I don’t just mean dating sites. So we know who-ever it is, is trying to split us up. But they are going to have to wake up a lot earlier than that to catch either of us believing that the other has joined such vulgar sites. This has happened tonight and me and the hub are wondering if we can get the police involved whether we should? What would you do. Its beyond a joke now. And can only be one of a few people. So passwords and emails and other things may have to be changed!</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none;"><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">But other than that all is fine and dandy here! I feel better being able to walk again. I am managing to reduce my diazepam which has got to be good, and take the oral morph less often because its yucky! Although I am still getting very sleepy pockets during the day or evening where if I don’t go to sleep I will pass out. On that note I am going now as this post has been long enough. But then again it has been a week that I, Mrs Gabby Guts has tried to condense!!!</span></span></div>Emmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03243025854819361021noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7891836075676425502.post-5560958169693689582011-09-05T10:50:00.000+01:002011-09-05T10:50:15.078+01:00Sleepless in PlymouthWell as Tuesday dawns closer everyone apart from H seems to be unable to sleep. At about one o'clock last night I heard my husband whisper are you still up, I need a fag. Yes I was still up because the tablets that I take that normally give me blissful sleep were refusing to do any such thing! <br />
<br />
So me and the hubby crept in to the bathroom to have a fag, two minutes later we were joined by my mum. Can't sleep. When asked why it was a case of same reasons as you probably. <br />
<br />
Having surgery is nerve racking enough for anyone. I have had my fair amount of surgery in the past and it never really bothered me too much apart from the fact I couldn't eat for a fair ol while! Since having my tonsils out a few years ago that all changed.<br />
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I remember coming to feeling like I was gagging but unable to move. Unable to even blink, I was desperately trying to let someone know that I was awake, and trust me petrified. When all of a sudden I heard a voice shout she's coming to give her some more anesthetic. At this point with a tube down my throat I couldn't breath and my panicking had reached a very high stage. There was someone by my side telling me to be calm it would be ok and I would be back under soon. I had a fit and then the next thing I know I came to in the recovery room.<br />
<br />
Quite frankly the nurse was a bitch and told me to stop crying. When I told her what had happened she told me I was making things up. The next nurse said nothing was on my notes so I probably dreamed it. Convenient how nothing was on my notes but they wanted me to stay in an extra two hours than normal to keep an eye on me. <br />
<br />
My one comfort I suppose at the moment is that this is a totally different hospital. So it will be a totally different anesthetist, plus I have already made them aware of how much this has played on my mind so they have said when I get there I will probably be given something to relax me.<br />
<br />
I have to be there for 7am. I am not a morning person, and the fact that I am going to have to get up in time to leave the house for 6.15am does not please me in the slightest! But I suppose I will get some kip during the operation and afterwards. <br />
<br />
I had already said to my mum that the hubby will be wearing the floorboards thin until he hears anything. To which with a wicked grin she said don't worry I am sure I can find plenty of chores to keep him busy. Poor hub, he was probably hoping to get a few hours of world of warcraft in! <br />
<br />
Luckily H, is totally oblivious to the tension in the air and the nerves that the house feels so full of and she is getting her fair amount of sleep.Emmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03243025854819361021noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7891836075676425502.post-6068072841402257242011-09-04T21:09:00.002+01:002011-09-04T21:09:53.914+01:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-EMzMdDQRv60/TmPa1W3bMPI/AAAAAAAAAI8/vgDtpy4S5kw/s1600/cheeky+h+on+bed.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-EMzMdDQRv60/TmPa1W3bMPI/AAAAAAAAAI8/vgDtpy4S5kw/s320/cheeky+h+on+bed.jpg" width="239" xaa="true" /></a></div><br />
<a href="http://www.mochabeaniemummy.com/silent-sunday/"><img alt="Silent Sunday" border="0" src="http://www.mochabeaniemummy.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/Silent-Sunday-Badge-SMALL-1.jpg" /></a>Emmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03243025854819361021noreply@blogger.com2