Sunday, 26 June 2011

Hair Loss

I have been suffering with psoriasis for a few years now. And with it on my skin I have come to terms with it, and I tend to find that if I am comfortable with how my skin is less people comment on it, the only explanation I can think of for that is if it doesn't bother me it somehow becomes less visible.
But about two or three years ago my skin, nails and scalp got really bad with the psoriasis and I lost about three nails and I lost some of my hair. I used bandannas and material headbands to cover it and put on a brave face but inside it was one of the hardest things at the time that I had to deal with. You see I'm not exactly a small girl and my hair and nails had always been something I was very proud of so to lose that was a BIG deal.
Well after having H as expected my skin flared, and I started malting hair- which is normal after pregnancy. But last night as I was reading my book I had run my hand through my hair to keep it out my face and was left with a clump of it in my hand. I know its the psoriasis I have felt how bad its getting in my scalp. The lotions and potions they give me don't work for whatever reason. The frustrating thing is that they have said I am entitled to a new drug, it has took me years to agree to go on it. But my joints and skin have reached a stage where I know I need to start on the stronger stuff. Then my bloods came back and my liver count was high, that combined with stomach ache- which I had just put down as my body going back to normal, meant gallstones.
I was then told that until my gallbladder has been removed they can't and won't start me on this new treatment, but that I could start on UV light treatment until it worked. Sadly though at the moment as I can barely make it to the toilet let alone down the stairs the UV treatment will have to wait. Although that won't help the scalp and nails anyway.
So now I am sat here praying that on top of everything else I have going off I don't end up with a bald patch again. As a woman I find it hard to bear, it makes me feel unattractive, and the skin can do that do. Especially seems as after breastfeeding I got psoriasis on my nipples of all places! So all I can do for now is continue to use the shampoo and pray and hope that my hair slows down on falling out, i think right now I couldn't bear that.
Its difficult enough as it is in the mornings to get up, the pain is unbearable when I am tired. I feel sick, dizzy, tired and in huge amounts of pain and days like this make it very hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know its there.. Its just really faint at the moment.

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