Well as Tuesday dawns closer everyone apart from H seems to be unable to sleep. At about one o'clock last night I heard my husband whisper are you still up, I need a fag. Yes I was still up because the tablets that I take that normally give me blissful sleep were refusing to do any such thing!
So me and the hubby crept in to the bathroom to have a fag, two minutes later we were joined by my mum. Can't sleep. When asked why it was a case of same reasons as you probably.
Having surgery is nerve racking enough for anyone. I have had my fair amount of surgery in the past and it never really bothered me too much apart from the fact I couldn't eat for a fair ol while! Since having my tonsils out a few years ago that all changed.
I remember coming to feeling like I was gagging but unable to move. Unable to even blink, I was desperately trying to let someone know that I was awake, and trust me petrified. When all of a sudden I heard a voice shout she's coming to give her some more anesthetic. At this point with a tube down my throat I couldn't breath and my panicking had reached a very high stage. There was someone by my side telling me to be calm it would be ok and I would be back under soon. I had a fit and then the next thing I know I came to in the recovery room.
Quite frankly the nurse was a bitch and told me to stop crying. When I told her what had happened she told me I was making things up. The next nurse said nothing was on my notes so I probably dreamed it. Convenient how nothing was on my notes but they wanted me to stay in an extra two hours than normal to keep an eye on me.
My one comfort I suppose at the moment is that this is a totally different hospital. So it will be a totally different anesthetist, plus I have already made them aware of how much this has played on my mind so they have said when I get there I will probably be given something to relax me.
I have to be there for 7am. I am not a morning person, and the fact that I am going to have to get up in time to leave the house for 6.15am does not please me in the slightest! But I suppose I will get some kip during the operation and afterwards.
I had already said to my mum that the hubby will be wearing the floorboards thin until he hears anything. To which with a wicked grin she said don't worry I am sure I can find plenty of chores to keep him busy. Poor hub, he was probably hoping to get a few hours of world of warcraft in!
Luckily H, is totally oblivious to the tension in the air and the nerves that the house feels so full of and she is getting her fair amount of sleep.