A great week!

So the last few days have been great and lifted my spirits. There's only one down side to this week and that was my rheumatology appointment. I went in to explain about my hip, it only hurts when I walk and it feels like bone grinding on bone which is really painful. He wasn't suprised and basically told me its not a case of if it's a case of when I need a hip replacement but obviously they want to prolong that for as long as is possible!

The other thing is how broody I have been. I know that I would be stupid to have another one until my health is under control and it wouldn't be fair on H. Plus in the new year the hubby's going back on submarines.

I'm not as upset as I normally would be because I have Holly and we can go visiting friends...

Speaking of that! On Tuesday I got a phone call from hubby saying that he had a training course in Portsmouth and me and H could go with him so I texted a good friend of mine who I hadn't yet met who lives there asking if she knew of any cheap hotels. Well she did but asked us to stay with her and her family! I had a great time it was lovely to have adult company and someone to help with H although i was very proud of myself for looking after an 8 month and 4 month old for just over half an hour! And it didn't stress me to much but then again it wasn't for long!

Well we have a new bed coming on Monday and them as the hubby is on leave we are off to go see my mum in Swindon and exchange Xmas gifts.

I feel kind of torn about Christmas at the moment. Originally it was going to be the three of us for H's first Christmas but hubby's uncle has invited us to spend it with his family. I get the impression that hubby wants to go as he feels it should be a time when your with family. But we are a family the three of us. I don't mind doing something boxing day I just had certain expectations of this Christmas with it being H's first and I know I'm maybe putting to much pressure on myself. But I also want to do what's going to make the hubby happy. Plus his uncle and aunt have always been so good to us that I kind of feel like I'm letting them down if I don't go. Can I just cancel Christmas this year?! It's giving me a headache everytime we seem to have a plan and are all sorted and then everything changes!!

Patch the bunny is not in the good books today. The little darling managed to get hold of the curtains through his cage god knows how, and an he's chewed a nice hole in it. He definatley needs the snip he's getting a wee bit boisterous!!

H is thriving although had us worried when she lost her appetite but the dic has said she's fine she's just teething really bad!!

She's desperate to walk and keeps trying to stand without furniture! She's just such a happy baby and it really does make my life easier looking after her. Although she does have a stubborn streak and has a new thing where by when I tell her no she replies yes!!! She's getting her own personality and is a real poser for the camera.

I'm making the most of Christmas by dressing her up and taking pictures! I have also realised that the buggy I have is useless the brakes don't always work and one of the wheels keep going wonky plus it's a bit heavy for me so I think after Xmas I may be saving to get a new one!

The lies that people tell

Ok so I know I've really neglected my blog of late.

I've been to rock bottom and back again. Well at least that's what it feels like! Well I shall do my best to catch you up.. But I warn you I am typing this on my phone so you will have to excuse any typos..

As the majority of you know I had my gallbladder out about a month ago and really things haven't improved too much. I've lost four stone in the last 6 months- don't get me wrong I love an excuse to buy new clothes.. It is concerning however when I've not been active and I haven't exactly been the worlds healthiest eater!!

Well I went for a scan after a month of having my gallbladder and I have one doctor telling me that it's just bruising there. Another telling me there's a blood clot and a collection of stones.. So I think I have to wait for another scan!!

With all my symptoms and the fact that I am not absorbing my vitamins as I should they want to test for Chrons disease- runs in the family and does add up.

Then after the joy of being almost free from back pain that's come back to bite me in the bum with a vengeance! It spasms and not only that but now it has a new trick! It locks up and renders me imobile until the hubby literally moves me- not a pleasant experience. It's also a pain in the proverbial both literally and mentally. Try having a very active 8 month old who has decided that now is a grand time to stand up and try to walk. Plus you can guarantee the time my back goes is when I need to get her out of her cot or it's dinner time and this does not make for a happy baby or mummy!!

I'm trying so hard these days to focus on the things I can do. Things that a few months ago were impossible. Walking would be a grand example!! H is growing up so fast and I don't feel I'm missing out as much as I was. What is a pain however is that when the hubby comes in from work he takes over and nine times out of ten I go bed. My biggest fear is that this is going to impact on our relationship in a bad way. So we do what we always do. We make the best of what we've got and make sure we are open with one another..

One of the things that hurt alot. More than I was prepared to admit was my father. He's an alcoholic. Along with a lot of other things. We hadn't spoken in years. When I found out he had cancer I tried to make amends. Maybe for selfish reasons in the sense that I did not want anything to happen to him and I hadn't tried.

Well the first time I tried I got a not so nice email. Basically telling me as far as he was concerned he didn't have a daughter an all I ever did was cause problems. Then it was followed by a complete lie. You see me and his wife have never really seen eye to eye. Apparently my father was seriously ill in hospital with a blood clot on the lung (since found out it wasn't serious and certainly wasn't a clot but hey ho) so anyway his wife tells him she's contacted me and I've said I don't care.

Well anyway. I try to tell him this hasn't happened at all to no avail! So I left it. Then I heard that things were pretty bad. By this time I was pregnant with his first grandchild. I felt he deserved another chance. So I tried again. Totally different response almost like a different person answered the email!

He told me how happy he was for me etc. Now stupidly what with him having chemo I honestly managed to get in my head that he wouldn't be drinking anymore. So we went off to meet up. First thing that happens when we get there bear in mind it's probably about 2pm is that he cracks a cider open. I think my heart sunk at that I felt gullible for believing that things could honestly change and like so many times before where he was concerned I felt let down!

Other than a slight disagreement and the obvious awkwardness the night seemed to go smoothly. He said that he wanted to leave the past in the past this was fine by me as I knew that we would just argue about it as we have done so many times before..

So things went well and we came home. I felt a little hope that maybe H could have some form of a relationship with him. After she was born they came to see us. We went for a meal and then came back to the house. We hadn't been back long when he said he needed to get back to the hotel and would nip in on the way home the next day.

I was surprised to say the least he hadn't been round for long and it seemed a long way to come, plus he didn't seem to be that interested in H. I jokingly said to the hubby I bet he had to get back so he could go to the pub. The next day my joke was proved to be a spot on theory.

Well as far as I was concerned as long as he wasn't doing it around me or H I didn't care. I didn't need to know or be a part of it.

We were then asked to go to their caravan for my step mums birthday. Whilst there after my Dad had had one to many he told me and the hubby that he had five years left to live. Really didn't know how to feel about that one. Or how to react.

Fast forward a few months later when I'm informed that it's all a lie. My Dad been given the all clear. Since I found that and the fact that they need bothered to get in contact when I had emergency surgery I stopped all contact.

I can't believe that anyone would be sick enough to lie about that. I certainly don't need him in my life I've managed very well so far. I don't need the heartache and I don't want H to suffer because of his lies. I feel stupid for falling for it. It's not like it's the first time he's told me he's dying but the fact he had cancer I had no reason to think otherwise really!!!

So now trust becomes an issue for me again. I know some people won't be happy that I've posted this but you know what I don't care. My Dad has told so many lies about me and caused problems in the family that it's time the truth came our about him. He's nothing but a drunk and a wife beater. Him and his current wife are as bad as on another and deserve one another!!

I realise now that sometimes you make your own family. Friends can become your family and an important part of your life when they are true friends.

I guess my main thoughts are I don't know how family's do things like that to one another. You can't always take people at face value even if they are some one you are supposed to be able to depend upon.

Gallbladder op

The strip lights were flickering above. Whispered conversations were being had all around the room. You could hear the click click of heels walking up and down the corridors, the beeping of machines and snoring.

I was back in hospital and it felt like hell on earth! It three weeks on Wednesday I had gone to the doctors because my gallbladder hadn't stopped hurting for near on 48hours - I was booked in for a routine gallbladder removal the following week, I was happy to wait but not so happy with the pain.

When I got to the doctors they sent me straight to the surgical assesment unit. Good job really my gallbladder was septic and could have burst. So after being taken down for emergency surgery on the Thursday I was trying to sleep things off in between pressing my morphine button.

Because of the drip and morphine machine I was wired to I needed help when I wanted to get to the toilet as I couldn't physically get to the plug or bend in that direction. Well I ended up with the snottiest health care assistant ever!

Every time I got back to my bed she would refuse to reset my morphine machine saying it automatically did it- it didn't. Then as I would go to put my oxygen mask back on I would find ut turned off. Being told that I didn't need it- funny that, a consultant is highly more qualified and he's said I'm too stay on it because of my blood pressure or some other reason.

When I would ask her for pain relief I wouldn't get it would have to keep buzzing until I got someone else as he would conveniently forget!

Then to top it off the next morning she's doing the rounds asks me my pain level- now since I'd been on this ward it was between one and three , three being the highest. I put mine between 2.5 and 3 to be told I wasn't in pain. HELLO it's MY body!

Now don't get me wrong there are some fantastic people out there doing the job, but some people shouldn't. It doesn't help recovery and being in hospitals depressing enough! And I'm sorry but wether or not they are having a bad day or not is not a good enough excuse to take it out on the patients. To be honest it's now left me petrified when I have to go in hospital.

Then to top my day of at 3am one of the girls on the ward has decided its a perfect time to play her music. Queue one unimpressed me shouting for her to turn it off. Wouldn't have minded if that had happened instead a few of us had to complain. Now this grates me because as soon as H started getting too noisy D would take her for a walk- this was during visiting hours and she is a baby. Then I had a snorer next to me, a lady who obviously wasn't very well mentally screaming help me every five minutes (she thought she was falling bless her) and one of the worst sounds in the world retching all of them. I was itching to get out!

When I went to change out of my gown I realised that blood had seeped through so lifting it up expecting to see dressings all I saw was an open wound- trust me I nearly retched! They had glued my wounds. Really clever not!

Three weeks on and I'm in worse pain than before I had the bloody thing out. My belly button wound has been open for a while now and I'm on my second dose of anti biotics.. With no sign of it disappearing.

Now you would think that would be my bad luck over oh no. Why would we allow that!! My leg fits as I'm walking with my frame, I go down straight on to my ankle. Now I've broken my ankle before and walked on it and this was more painful. Due to the fact I was upstairs had to call out the ambulance men. So after being stabbed with a needle and having it wriggled about five times (nice bruises!) they find a vain hip hip hooray! Time for the morphine not that it touches it. Then begins the fun, them carrying me down the stairs- not an experience I wish to repeat.

So when I first get there I'm put on a special bed to elevate my ankle because of how badly swollen my ankle was. I was given no pain reliefs and after a few puffs the gas and air runs out and the doctor refuses to replace it because apparently it doesn't help... Now tell me why would I be asking for it if it wasn't helping?!

So off for X-ray the doctor comes back pushes my foot up and tells me that it's not broken- I'm screaming at this point do he decides that he's going to say that I'm feeling pain when I shouldn't be as he didn't touch me. And seems as it wasn't swollen clearly theres nothing wrong its at this point i refuse to let him touch me due to the pain. So another Dr comes over screaming the whole time as he twists my ankle he tells me it's strained and that from a medical point of view there is nothing wrong.

Then he sees how I'm holding my foot and asks if I have cramp. No its the most comfortable position oh in that case you've probably strained your tendons. Contradictory! I have one telling me to rest for a few weeks another telling me to use it. So at the moment I'm doing a bit of both.

Sadly I have taken a step back. I'm back in the wheelchair as it would seem something happened to my back during the fall. Then again it's not that long ago I had that operated on!!

They have started me on a new med which means coming off the others cold turkey. I am so tired but the itching and fidgeting is stopping what little sleep i was managing. Now the pain management consultant thinks I may have fibromyalgia but now it appears that I have two infections and a joint flare up I'm praying that's not the case.

Waiting on a scan as they think I may have a collection of stones or bile, which possibly means more surgery. It's draining. I'm feel back at rock bottom and then to top this week of the hubby ends up having to have a tooth out and is really poorly with it so end up down a and e with him at 4am.

What is it with this family?! I think it's time our luck changed. Got to say that I'm hoping never to have to have surgery in Plymouth again. Each experience has left its mental and at present non healing physical scars on me.

So what with all that had happened at the weekend I decided me and D needed a break. So after a quick surf on the net I decided we should head to Roscoff, France. You see if we got the overnight ferry there and one back wouldn't need to spend on a hotel. Because of my wheelchair we needed a disabled cabin. I have to say I'm extremely impressed they made sure they parked you next to the lift and held it for you. The rooms were huge with a push of a button the door opened for you and there was even a seat in the shower!

The crossing there was great and it felt like we were there longer than a dy. apart from the odd hitch with the wheelchair it was a fantastic weekend and we has a real laugh and let our hair down. You have to make the most of being kid free!! Although it's almost to quiet without her and I am rather missing her although she's having a whale of a time!

My only comment would be is by closing the shops and restaurant so early they are losing out on some serious money as you only really have the chance to do one or the other unless you rush!!

Well I was going to write about my feelings towards Halloween and Carol singing in this post, but I've rambled on enough already and I don't think I have the energy to type anymore!!

Shopping with a mobility scooter

So I know I'm not the only disabled shopper in the world. As a first experience it wasn't the best,although it was slightly humourous, now i look back on it that is! I think I will be sticking to online shopping.As I don'tthink I will be braving a scoote for some time to come .

Firstly and this probably sounds rather vain, but I hated being in one and the looks that I got! I wanted to shout if you want to know just ask. Then its almost like a pity party of everyone jumping out your way avoiding eye contact or diving in to reach that product that's just a little to high up the shelves for you. Now that may sound extremely ungrateful, and I don't mean to come across that way but.. I was with my husband. Its for me difficult enough being in this position and I will ask him for help if I need it. I have or was always very independent until I met my husband, I still felt like I had some of that left so with people doing that it just felt they were taking strips of independence away. I suppose a little dignity, whats left of it after you have had a baby anyway!

Then as I was upstairs and the hubby had wondered off the blasted scooter wouldn't move. I'd like to point out that at this point the little light was still green indicating it still had battery left. Well it let me reverse but just refused to go forward. I could see people looking at me and felt the colour rising in my face. I felt like asking one woman if her mother had never taught her that it was rude to stare!

So after a few heart stopping minutes the thing starts up again, I go and join my husband and tell him in no way is he to leave me behind. Now I don't drive, so when I crashed in to a display full of clothes my husband said that it was probably a good thing. Luckily the display was sturdy and nothing broke. I however by now am scowling. I look to the little light, we'd probably been in the store for all of 15mins and its on red. So thinking that it turns to red with plenty of time to get you back to the front of I go.

Just as we reached the home stretch it started to give out on me. So the hubby pushed it from behind with the trolley and I made it to the customer service desk- just. I asked for another one. I couldn't use a normal chair as H was in the big trolley that D was pushing and we needed the big trolley. I like shopping and didn't want to have to sit on a bench red faced whilst the hubby finished up. So they give me another scooter...

I didn't get very far before it broke down in the middle of the store. At that point I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. There were no more scooters and it wasn't the shortest walk to the front of the store. No way was I dragging that thing and because it had completely lost power D couldn't even push it far from behind. So it had to be abandoned, bit like the rest of the shopping really.

There were no more scooters and really at this point, even though my husband was highly amused I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry as quite a few people had seen this happen and looking back yes I can laugh. But is it too much to ask that they charge the scooters when they put them back? I wasn't going to take the risk of a third scooter and there was no way I could walk round the rest of the way so it was a case of 'lets go home and D can finish it tomorrow'. Which got my goat a little bit really. I may have had a few disasters with online shopping but at least that's behind a screen!! So until I build up the confidence again I am only left with the choice of online shopping which after having my gallbladder out next week will probably be all I feel up to!

Back in Plymouth

I am back in Plymouth now. Hopefully to stay. Just waiting to hear when my gallbladder op will be and if D will be allowed the time off work if not I will have to go back and stay with my mum.

That's not such a big deal as luckily now that I am older me and mum get on a lot better and tend to try and talk things out rather than having argument. The other good thing is it means I get to catch up with all my friends because at the moment Plymouth is quite lonely as I don't know many people and unless there are mum and baby groups in the evening when D can take me, I don't really have a hope in hell of getting there.

I have finally changed the medication patches I was on, so at least I am not being driven up the wall with the urge to scratch! However, I am not entirely sure the dose is high enough as I can feel all my joints and gallbladder pain more than what I normally do. I am also getting the sleepy side affects. It would be so easy to just go back to Swindon for another week or until my medication is sorted out, but I don't see the point. I need to try powering through this as I am always going to have bad days with my joints and with my back.

I intend to ignore the housework, well try my hardest anyway. I am just going to concentrate on H and me and when she naps so will I. I feel like a new mum except my baby is 6months old and a hell of a lot more active than a new born. She is also stubborn as hell when she wants something... can't think where she gets that from lol! However, it does feel amazing that after all this time I can finally feed her without crying with the pain. I think and have probably said this before that the back surgery was the best thing I could have ever done!

She is sitting up unaided for longer periods of time and is getting frustrated that she can't crawl, not that it stops her from getting to where she wants to go, which is normally somewhere shes not supposed to be. She was shaking her juice all over her yesterday and had a roaring hissy fit when I took it off her and looked to her dad.

I am guessing she is going to be a daddy's girl! Would love to know what goes through their minds. She wasn't too well last night but seems fine this morning. Even if she did get up at 1am to have a little chat to herself and blow some bubbles, don't get me wrong she doesn't cry out to get up she sends herself back off to sleep. But I would love to know why she does it!!

Hub has joined me up with net mums so that I can meet other mums in the area. It really all depends on if they feel comfortable going to a strangers house for a drink though as there is no way I am near enough ready to get out and about. Which reminds me I need to do a food shop in a bit. Oh the joys. Considering trying asda to see if they are cheaper.

Anyway I think I have rambled on about nothing for the past ten minutes so if you managed to get this far well done! I guess the reason I am staying in Plymouth is that I need to try. I need to try and build up a good network of friends here like what I have in Swindon as I don't know that I can handle being a weekend wife. It also depends as to why my leg and arm have fits though, as I may be left with no choice but to move back. Its now just a waiting game and boy do I hate waiting!

A navy wife rant!! Beware!

So I am sat in the garden this morning writing this post, as H has decided yet again she would prefer to nap in the garden rather than her cot, not that she is doing much napping, note me writing a post rather than getting my head back down.

H decided a fun time to get up would be 6.15am blowing bubbles, this is after a restless night of her tossing and turning and coughing. One of the things I am looking forward to when I go home is her being back in her own room so that when I need the toilet at 2am and she is half awake I don't have to creep past!

Today is Friday and normally I would be spending the whole day in excited anticipation of the hubby coming home, as originally he wasn't duty for a few more weeks. However, this has now all changed. Life in the big blue one as his old boss used to say, normally at the most inappropriate of times but hey ho its true.

Yes I knew what lifestyle I was marrying into and the thoughts and worries that come with it. But sadly you don't get to chose who you fall in love with. What really gets my goat is when people turn around and say well you knew this was going to be your life. Just because I knew it doesn't mean I have to like it.

The thing I hate most at the moment, is knowing he is coming home from work everyday and yet I can't see him unless we do face time god bless the iphone! Its not the same though. You can't cuddle up to that in bed.  I didn't chose to come to Swindon, don't get me wrong I am enjoying spending time with my friends and my Mum. But its not the same, I want to be home.

This weekend I was supposed to be going home and seeing if I could manage in the hours that D works if not I would come back for another week or two. However, because today is the big day when they are announcing the redundancies apparently anyone who gets it is being sent home on 5 days leave. As D's office has already lost about three people and with two people up for redundancy it means that possibly he will be the only one that can do the duty and this weekend there is a lot of work on.

We had plans and I hate the fact that at the last minute a bombshell like this gets dropped. Just like the week before we were supposed to be moving to Cyprus everything packed in boxes and me living at home we found out that wasn't happening. No reason given. That's the life in the big blue one.

I hate the fact that I don't know if I am going to see him today or not. I may not know until four o'clock this afternoon. Its the constant uncertainties. As stupid as it sounds its easier when he's on deployment. Because I know I can't seem him, sometimes even have no contact with him. Its just knowing that he's at home and I am stuck here. There is no way on earth I am well enough to take the train. Plus then there is the luggage that comes with having a child, how the heck would I carry all that.

Its not just mine and D's plans messed up if this happens. Potentially its my mums to. As she will need to be here or at least someone will to help me out over the weekend.

Don't get me wrong not all aspects of a navy wife are bad. There are many support sites through which I have made some genuine and some not so genuine friends. One lady who I had never even met crocheted a blanket as a gift for when H was born, even though she had lost nearly everything in a house fire, no home insurance... Ladies and Gents please make sure you have it because you don't know who its going to happen to! Also other people have been supportive in times of need offering words of wisdom.

However, some forces wife's can be clicky and use their husbands rank as their own. This riles me, because whilst me and D are a couple I wouldn't dream of using his rank, I am my own person.

You can get women who are there through the thick and thin because they know what its truly like, as your normal friends can only really sympathise. Don't get me wrong I am thanking my lucky stars that D isn't in the category for redundancuy and for now his job is stable. Its a good wage and means that I can stay at home with my baby.

Which is even better considering all the problems with my health at the moment. Also their welfare system can be really helpful. The housing is cheap. You can get discount in certain places, but why shouldn't we have a few luxury's when our husbands could be putting their lives on the line for our country.

Plus those with children are single parents to all intents and purposes when there is a deployment. I am proud of my husband and the job he does. What makes it even better is that he enjoys his job, so I would never dream of asking him to give it up. Only if he wanted to. I have always said that whatever he chooses to do I will support him in and I mean that 100% because that in my eyes is what marriage is about. Its also about so much more, compromise as well as understanding truth and trust. Because I have always believed that if you don't have trust you don't have anything left. Especially when your oh or husband is in a job like mine. Its so much worse than long distance sometimes.

There are times when I don't even know where he is. My main concern now is for H and how it will affect her and I guess it wont as she will know no different. It will affect me on her behalf though, especially the times when there is no contact for months. Those are the times I chose to not watch the news, its too depressing and worrying when an article comes on.

Sometimes I think that what the navy fail to realise is us women are the ones fighting behind the scenes, fighting to keep a smile on our partners faces when they go to battle or in tough places. Fighting to make them remember that they have something worth fighting for, something to come home to. That's why every time D has been away for awhile I try to give him the best home coming every time. So that he fights tooth and nail to come home.

Hey ho life goes on and we have a beautiful daughter who I thought was asleep for all of five minutes anyway. Here's today's picture that made me smile. Because when life gets tough you have to roll with the punches and make your own happiness.

Brilliant news since writing this I have found out that D doesn't have to take the duty because those who applied for it don't get the 5 days leave.. Hurrah!!

Daddy's girl in her sailor dress!

A Birthday and a Long Weekend (Plus H's long awaited hospital results)

Well the weekend just gone was a long weekend in more ways than one! D had the Monday off as we were getting the long awaited results of H's scan.
Also it was his Grandma's birthday. We went to visit her in Paignton and she loved her present which was a photo album with a few wedding pics of mine and D's as she had asked for one before and we hadn't got round to it. The rest of the album was H. On the front of the album I put my favourite picture of H and her great gran on the front.

 I was pleased to see that the present was a real hit! She loved it. In her eyes H is perfect. I love D's grandma to pieces she's one of the most honest people going. The way she see's it is that she is 94 and has earned the right to say what she feels no matter what other people think!! Fair play!
We were planning on going for a cream tea but by this time she was quite tired so we decided we would all go out for Sunday lunch the next day. Well when we got to D's Uncle and Aunties plans had changed and we were eating there. Sadly I don't like fish or eggs so I made do with a ham sandwich, whilst H chattered away or should I say shouted... my she has found her lungs!
My mother in law managed to get some fantastic photos, one being the four generations of a family. The other photo's were of all of us that had gone to the birthday girls lunch. They were all fantastic, she really is a dab hand with a camera! The ones she took of H when she was first born looked like professional ones.
Here's two of my favourite pictures.

So then it was Monday which was going to be a mad day, as H had her hospital appointment I had the doctors, and the rabbit should have gone to the vets. So up ready and early again. I suppose I better get used to early mornings...

Well we went in to see the consultant and he told us that H's scans were clear. So if she does bang her head then I don't have to worry that she is completely deaf. So the next thing was for me to deal with the consultants god like arrogance.
I asked him what exactly did he mean by the comment next time I was pregnant I would have to be more careful. To which he stuttered and stammered and said he was going to get the nurse who had sat in on the last consult as he didn't think for one minute he would say something like that. As I pointed out to him there was two of us that had heard the comment.
There was so many contradictions, for example we had been told originally that the type of hearing loss H had a hearing aid wouldn't help, we have now been told otherwise. Then it went from H being completely deaf to the fact that she may not be completely deaf but only slightly.
I did get more than one apology and I left it there as we do need to deal with him in the future and I don't want it affecting H's care. I left feeling satisfied this time, rather than being left feeling like H's deafness was my fault. Which it isn't! Even though now it would appear she may not even be deaf!! Whats the point in the tests when they don't tell us they can be wrong?
My doctors appointment was for my pain patches, they have been driving me up the wall. They have been itchy and when they come off leaving massive red lumps and weeping until like a sun burn peeling. Turns out I am allergic to plasters now! So we are trying a different type of patch, same drug so that what happened last time can't happen again!!
D's fine, he always is bless him. I really miss him during the week and know that he is missing us, especially the way he comes running in to see H on a Friday, its so sweet to watch. As a couple we have been through more than most couples go through in a life time and we are coming out stronger for it. He has been amazing and I can't thank him enough for being there as a shoulder and keeping my confidence up and also not repeating on what I have said to him. I love you D and I can't wait to be home again xxx