But getting back on to the subject yesterday was the day, again. I didn't want to call it d-day again in case of jinxing it to disaster day again. He took some notes did a through a examination and thankfully doesn't believe it to be MS... breath a sigh of relief.. possibly the first one in months!
He did admittedly get my back up when he tried pinning it on my arthritis and psoriasis..oh and lets not forget pregnancy... I thought here we bloody go again. But instead of keeping my mouth shut this time I piped up and asked him how would that cause the other symptoms I am having. At which point he shut up. Probably not the wisest move to insult or put a professor in his place, but I have got to the stage that I am sick of doctors with their god like arrogance.
So anyway he said that he wants to review my last MRI, because, wait for it... It could be to do with my slipped disc and the possibility of Avascular Necrosis as.. as I had said before, symptoms mirror and also refer to other places.. that's why its called referred pain! But he did say he also wants another MRI of my Neck, Brain (that should be an interesting one ha ha) and of my spine, to see if there are any changes. Then go from there.
I asked how much an MRI would cost and he was honest and told us to go through the nhs as it will be just as quick and will save us A LOT of money! Then my doctor rang to say that she had put through a referral for the pain management team (could be interesting as they aren't sure whats causing the problems and she doesn't think they will help) and was also going to send me to a spinal specialist.
Finally they seem to be sitting up and listening. But what I think is disgraceful is the fact they cant get me in to pain management until the middle of September and they only managed to get me in that early by saying back pain rather than general!
Ahh well, have to chase up my hip MRI, which if it still shows water on the bone means that its looking more and more likely that it is Avascular Necrosis, and if the idiot says hes still not sure as much as I don't want to I will be telling him to take a bloody biopsy. I don't particularly want to wait around to see if my hip collapses!! Gorden Bennett I need a bloody good holiday!!
So maybe just maybe, slowly but surely I am making progress. Today for the first time in a long time I have woken up with out my legs feeling completely weak and am able to use my zimmer rather than the wheel chair to get to the bathroom. Not going downstairs, don't want to spoil what is actually at the moment a good day pain wise.
My mum was telling me this morning that she thinks I have lost confidence and am not the person I was. I have to say I totally agree. There has been alot thrown at me this year. But step by step I am getting there. I WILL beat whatever this is. I WILL get better for my Husband and Daughter. I WILL be able to start living again not just existing! The last few days have also taught me that their are Doctors out there willing to listen and help!
I have had some cuddles with H put her on the bed and boom feet straight in mouth. Then looks at me cheekily with her cheeky laugh as if to say look at what I can do!
