The Good and The Bad

So for those who have been following my blog, you would know that I went to my Dad's caravan for a bit of a get away and a catch up. I really enjoyed it. Sadly though I had to cut it short. We were supposed to be there for nearly two weeks. Sadly I didn't even make it to a full week.

After a few days, which I have to say were fantastic. Me and the hubs got some quality time together, I felt well enough to do a little bit more for H. But sadly it would appear not staying in bed and going out or sitting down at a table, because trust me I didn't do much hoping not to have to go home early. But the weather finally set in to my bones and I didn't feel right.

Turns out I have a full blown cold, which has just sent my body completely crazy, I can hardly move and yesterday I was only awake for about 3 hours. I guess my body is trying to heal itself!

Well H has her first tooth coming through, can see it it's almost there. Luckily even if she needs more hugs at night, which I love who wouldn't, it doesn't seem to affect her too much. Apart from a horrid rash which we are getting checked at the docs today.

Also H is draining her 8oz and looking for more, so we are considering weaning her. I think we will ask for the doctors or health visitors advice. As they say to hold off until they are 6 months because their digestive system may not be ready and it can cause all sorts of problems for them later on in life.

H managed to get out of her routine on holiday but that's not to bad as she is slowly getting back in to the swing of things. I was sat watching her last night as she was chomping on her foot and wondered if she would still attempt it after her tooth comes through. If she does I don't think she will try again ha ha!!

On an even brighter note today is mine and the hubby's first wedding anniversary. Cannot believe its been a whole year, its flown. I know there will be many more happy years to come because in such a short space of time we have been through more than most couples go through in a life time, and are still managing to come out the other side loving one another more and more!

Well I am going to leave this post now to get some rest. Then hopefully once H goes to bed me and the hub can spend some quality time together!

Holidays - The stressful part

I am sat writing this as we are driving on our way to Skegness. It was a last minute decision. For the first time in weeks my joints seem to have eased a bit so its just my back and gallbladder giving me jip.

I now realise that no matter where I am I am going to be in pain. So why not be in pain somewhere nice near to a beach. Normally we would go to St.Ives but because its the school holidays the prices are sky high.
The reason for Skegness is because my Dad and Step mum have a caravan down there and have kindly invited us.

If I used to think packing and getting organised when it was just me and D was a nightmare. I don't know how to compare it now.. Hellish maybe? So stressful. You have to make sure you have everything.

Its amazing that one little person needs so much luggage! She has been fantastic during the journey. She had her jabs this morning and although she has been fine after her last lot you can never be to sure. She slept for the first 3 hours, only waking when we woke her to change and feed her.

Now she is back in her car seat playing with her toys and chatting away to them. Me and D are listening to the radio and shamelessly singing along, thankfully there are no open windows as we have the luxury of air conditioning.

I am looking forward to getting there, taking some more pain killers and laying down for a bit! Lets hope the weather is on our side. As this will be the last holiday in sometime as I am due gallbladder surgery and I also have hospital appointments coming out of my ears.

D has 2 weeks leave not sure how much of it we will use in Skegness I suppose it depends on how things go! I hope all of you who are on your holidays are enjoying yourselves and the weather is glorious for you.

Not sure if I will get Internet down in Skeg so if I don't you will probably be reading this post when I get home! Bit like postcards really, the people who send them always seem to arrive before a postcard does...

Lil H's Scan

Well I went to the hospital worried, I really didn't think we would get her to sleep. As she only seems to take ten minute naps these days. Plus the past week it sounded like she hadn't really been napping. But then again I think she may have been getting spoilt with cuddles. Don't get me wrong yes she needs love and attention and cuddles, but you can't pick a baby up every time they make a noise otherwise they expect it. Babies are not stupid. Yes she needs interaction but not 24/7, people still need to be able to do the house work. But it would seem after our guests left, whether or not its because shes teething I really don't know. You can't put her down, as soon as you do she whinges.

Now if she was full on crying, needed her nappy changing, needed feeding then she lets you know if you see what I mean. Then she will really cry not just little moany whingey noises, or as has happened now fake coughing. We seem to be managing to get her back in to routine now, so hopefully it was just a phase. Lil madam will laugh as soon as you go in to see whats wrong which leads me to believe she's dipping her toe in the water so to speak to get attention.

It brings questions to the mind of controlled crying, or do you tend to them straight the way. I don't think there is a wrong or a right way of doing it, all babies are different. There is a huge difference between controlled crying and neglect. As I say though unless shes hungry or maybe under the weather it isn't really a cry.

Any way back to the hospital. I really was worried, because if she didn't sleep for the scan it would be more weeks of waiting and then the fact that she would have to have a general anesthetic. Which as I am sure most parents would agree I don't want for my baby.

So we were trying to feed her, she took two ounces and started crying and fussing. So not like her at all. I managed to calm her and passed her to her daddy, he managed to get another three ounces down her and some heavy eyes! So I took her back and had her resting on my chest gently stroking her hair and making low shh shushing sounds in her good ear.

She was out for the count I was so relieved, but still anxious, how long would we have to wait? How long would she stay asleep like this for? So when the nurse finally came out I managed to breath a little, but still not completely they still had to get her on to the bed for the ct scan.

As soon as she was took from my arms and placed on the bed she started crying. Because the beds a lot higher than the wheelchair I thought she had woken up and honestly my heart was breaking. The radiologists were fantastic stroking her hair and swaddling her.

Finally she seemed settled, it would seem she had cried out in her sleep, because they had to put her head in some sort of vice like thing to stop it from moving and they don't think she liked that. When they asked who wanted to stay in the room we agreed I would. I think D did this knowing how little I can do for her at the moment and how anxious I would be outside. I am grateful to him for that, because I can imagine it wasn't easy being the other side of the door waiting.

I honestly can't imagine how parents must feel when there children have to have operations, she was only having a scan and I was in pieces. But you see this scan could end up changing her whole life. If its positive it means one simple knock to the head and she will be completely deaf.

So now we have to sit and wait for an appointment for the results. I tell you if I see the same consultant I will be asking him what he meant when he said the next time I was pregnant I would have to be more careful. I will not take the blame for this. For a while I did. But I did everything I could to protect my baby. I took painkillers towards the end on both doctors and consultants orders, telling me that I would harm my baby more by not taking painkillers because I would be stressing the baby out.

H will grow up knowing no different. We will tell her how special she is. If the test comes back positive, which my gut is telling me it is. Then me and D will learn sign language and teach it to her from now. We will talk and sign so that if the worst was to ever happen, she will still be able to communicate.

So for now I will try not to worry I will watch over her as she sleeps and be prepared for whatever the answer is. Next big day coming up  is my private appointment with the professor in neurology. Lets hope we are one step closer to getting answers.