Dear H

To my dearest H,

I would love to know where the last five months have gone? You seemed so big when you were born at 9lbs but now you just seem even bigger.

Your a real Daddy's girl you have been from the start you wouldn't let anyone feel you kicking. Even now you are a daddy's girl  unless your under the weather and tired and then you want mummy huggles to help you get to sleep.

That tooth is getting so much closer to coming through, and you seem to not be teething as bad now, your certainly not as cranky or needing your teething gel that much in fact you prefer your teething toys. And now that we have started weaning you, you love to chomp on the spoon. I can tell when you have had enough baby rice as you start to blow bubbles in to it. Almost to make a point as if your saying 'I'm done now mummy'.

Even though the doctors have said you are deaf in your left ear, I am beginning to have my doubts. You can hear the smallest of sounds and you always turn to the right direction when someone calls your name. That is unless your engrossed in something and that's normally the tv.

You hate children's programs and make whinny noises until we turn it over to a program like how's it made? If you are on the floor and cant see the tv you do this thing where you turn your body and twist yourself until your in the best position to see the tv. That's it then, you have once been so transfixed by the television that when your Glama waved her hand in front of your face you didn't even blink!

Your rolling over both ways now. Even attempting a commando crawl with your knees, that is if you see something you want. You have such determination that I know you will do well when you are older. I often wonder what will your voice sound like? Will you enjoy school? What will you want to be when you grow up?

It's true when they say that babies have a sixth sense, you can tell when mummy or daddy is having a sad day and you will reach your arms out to ask for a hug. Then once you have been picked up, you will nuzzle your head in to either of our necks whilst your other hand gently strokes mine/dad's face before looping your arm round and wriggling further in for proper snuggles.

You are one of the most happiest, giggliest babies I have ever known. You are so content. We really have been blessed with you. When we were stuck in the hospital the other day for nearly 5 hours (not for the first time) you made all the other patients smile with your big beams and giggles when people pulled funny faces. You didn't fuss once and all the nurses were amazed by you. One even said you have the perfect baby look and should be a baby model. Obviously me and your dad agreed but then we are totally bias.

We now have a new game that you play and that's what position are you going to be in when you wake up in the morning. We have had some funny photos. You have sometimes managed to get to the other end of the bed and turn yourself round and then get on to your tummy. You have totally wrapped yourself up in the quilt. One morning we heard giggling and a tap tap on the baby monitor then it went quiet. You had turned it the other way round so that the microphone was muffled by the mattress. You panicked your dad the other morning when he walked in and found you completely under your quilt. I think you were trying to play peek-a-boo because that's how you have seen me do it.

My favourite position that we found you in is this one below. You look like you are becoming a bit of a poser! Your so chirpy in the mornings always ready to come in to mummy for a good morning smile a giggle and a kiss.

You now hold your legs up when your bum gets changed, mainly so you can try and get both feet in your mouth. To me in my eyes, your a clever little determined baby, who knows how to get what she wants from daddy already haha!

What has always amazed me since you have been born though, is the love that I have for you. This small little thing that comes in to your life like a whirlwind and eventually its really hard to forget what life was like without you. It makes me so glad that your here now.

You had your first time in the swimming baths but now, you will have to wait till mummy gets better before I can take you again but you loved it. You didn't want to get out. But as soon as you did and we got you on the changing bench wrapped in a towel, you were fast off.

You look just like your dad when you sleep, and just like your dad you can sleep pretty much anywhere with some amusing poses taking place.

It is yet again another one of my favourite photos of you. I wonder whether because your such a good baby but already showing determination whether you are going to suffer from terrible twos... I can't imagine you at that age let alone older than that, because it still doesn't seem like five minutes a go since I really couldn't wait to have you!

Your asleep in your dads arms at the moment. I hope your dreaming of nice things, and I will see you for morning smiles in the morning.

All my love xxxxx

Tattoos

Tattoos are a very personal thing. At least they are to me. Each of mine have a meaning. After seeing someone else post about tattoos a week or so ago I decided that it was time to post about each of mine.

I have to say they also can be rather addictive and if it wasn't for my psoriasis after I had H I would have had a tattoo for her.

Here is a picture of a tattoo on my wrist as you can see it is two love hearts entwined. Now I was 21 and had been thinking about getting a tattoo for such a long time. I had looked I had found a Tinkerbell picture I liked but had been warned by a tattoo artist that because it was in colour outline it probably wouldn't look as good and would really fade with time. So for a while I forgot about it.

Then me and the ex bf mentioned in friendship disaster posts. Went on our first ever girly holiday to St.Ives, its a stunning place and I love it. I loved the holiday and had so much fun. On our last night we went to a club and they stamped our wrists with the two love hearts so that we could go out for a fag and still get back in. I knew as soon as I saw that stamp on my wrist I had found what I wanted for a tattoo.

I think the tattoo artist saw me coming he charged £40 for it!

The second tattoo I got is as you can see a butterfly on the back of my neck. Now it was coming up to a friends wedding and I was having trouble finding a dress I liked. Well I had a dream in and in the dream I was wearing a beautiful colourful dress and had a butterfly tattoo on the back of my neck. When I ended up finding a dress almost identical to the one in my dream by pure chance, I decided it was a sign to get the next tattoo done.

My final tattoo is one on my foot which says freedom. I had seen it a few times before but refused to get it as it held no meaning for me. Anyway I think it was probably two years later and my skin had begun to clear up, to the point where by if you looked at me you wouldn't know. Also my joints had been better and I had stopped picking up every bug going. Then I moved in to a flat on my own. So a tattoo saying freedom seemed the perfect thing to get.
I would love to get more tattoo's especially one for H, but I can't because now my skin is quite bad so it would just attack the tattoo I am lucky that the ones I have haven't really been affected.